This is fast becoming my pet-peeve, really. Ever since Namnam was born, I have had people ranging from my closest friends to not so close ones to relatives to neighbours to even acquaintances telling me how my family would be complete if I were to have one more child. And mostly the suggestion is with a definite reference to having a son. Over the years I have been trying to condition myself into ignoring them and yet there are times when a random decree like this chafes at my whole being and pushes me to retaliate.
When a person professes that a family is ideal when it has a son and a daughter, I’ve never really understood that line of thought. I have friends who have two daughters, some have two sons, some, like me, have stood by the one-child policy. I know plenty of people who have opted not to have any children even and yet are in perfect sync with their decisions. There are people who have adopted and have found the right balance in life. Does that make these families any less meaningful or complete?
So what constitutes a ‘complete family’? Is there a set definition for it? Who decides what is complete or best for a said family? The family concerned or the people outside of it? If I am to assume( in the context of the Indian society) that this idea took shape from the campaign of Hum do Hamare do( we two, ours two) which was mainly propagated to control the population growth, then would it mean that the onus of defining ‘ a complete family’ lies on our government/our politicians? The miserable failure of the campaign is enough for all of us to jump in and veto the option I’m sure. In which case the onus automatically falls on our society, right? Who will have added a new dimension to the slogan by telling the family that the set-up will be absolutely complete when it has a son and a daughter.
If you ask me, I’d say NO. No government, no society nobody would be responsible to define my family set-up. That power rests entirely on me and my husband. How can people assume what would make MY family complete? They are free to speak for themselves. If they feel having two sons, or three daughters or a son and a daughter is what makes a complete family then fine, that is probably what works for them. But please do not thrust that viewpoint on me. I can speak for myself. My husband and I have a daughter and our family is as complete as any other with one child or two children or three sons or no children. Oh and we have a new slogan for ourselves- Hum do Hamari Ek( We two, Ours one)
No ONE family is any more or less perfect or beautiful than the other. Every family is worthy and complete in its own way. Lets keep it that way