Drop Everything And Read!

Says Namnam’s school and I couldnt be happier!

I have always believed that nothing can be more enriching and empowering than a simple act of reading. Reading can open the door to different worlds. It can make you grow, it can make you wiser. It can make you spread the wings of your imagination infinitely.

Which is why R & I have always tried to inculcate the habit of reading in Namnam in the best way we can. We started reading to her from the time she was a year old in the sole hope that she would develop a love for reading as she grew up. R was so keen to introduce his child to books and reading that he bought a bunch of Amar Chitra Katha, Tinkle and Chandamama even before she was born . I cant say if she is turning into a voracious reader like her father but I am glad to see her taking it fairly well.

Even though, if given a choice she would prefer tearing a page out of a book and try making a lamp-shade out of it for her obvious love for craft rather than picking up her story books and read , yet the glowing look of achievement in her eyes is hard to miss on days when she pulls out a book from her shelf and manages to read sentences successfully, albeit with some help from me when she gets stuck at big words. And that achievement makes her eager to try out more which in turn makes me happily rush to the book store to buy more books for her .

What also makes me happy as a parent is when schools stress on the very aspect of reading and the importance of making it a way of life, to the children and take measures to ensure every student develops a reading habit. Because not always do we get to see a deviation from the same old method of rote-learning in schools, do we? School that take pride in pushing the children into mugging up their lessons and scoring an A+ without even caring to know if they enjoy reading their books or if they are having fun while learning.

I am yet to figure out if CBSE’s* international curriculum which we have opted for Namnam is truly international as it claims to be or if its a case of old wine in new bottle.

Yet when I came across the concept of DEAR week while checking for updates for the week on her school’s web-portal, it made me think here was a school which truly understood the importance of inculcating good reading habits in children.

Now what is DEAR week you may wonder! It is a programme initiated to encourage children to pick up a book and read. DEAR means Drop Everything And Read! The students are to bring a book of their choice to school. A bell will be rung at any point of the day signalling the students to drop whatever it is that they are doing and pick their books and start reading. The reading is to go on till the bell is rung again after 10 minutes.

Namnam comes home and tells excitedly that she gets to finish the pages even before the bell is rung, I can sense how much she has been enjoying this activity.

“Oh I love millions and gillions of books!” says my child when she runs to her room to pick a book of her choice to take to school the following day. I wish her may this love only grow!

While I plan to voice my concerns at the school’s Open House, over her teacher’s behavior towards her, I also intend to let them know how much I, as a parent, appreciate them for this wonderfully encouraging activity.

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.- Charles W. Eliot

* CBSE: Central Board of Secondary Education

A genuinely concerned parent or an over-reacting one?

I really cant decide what am I being here. Whether my concerns are truly genuine or am I just being plain over-reactive.

Parenting does that to you sometimes, doesnt it? In your need to ensure the well-being of your child, parenting brings you to a juncture where you feel challenged into deciding which path to take so that your child feels reassured and best taken care of in the given circumstances.

Now it was only a few months back that I had praised Namnam’s teachers in her kindergarten for being wonderfully caring and sensitive towards her and helping her work on her confident self. And I stand by my opinion. I really do. I am hugely grateful to them for making my daughter’s kindergarten experience one that of immense fun and learning. And on her graduation day while proudly welling up at seeing her stride towards the stage to accept her passing-certificate, I hoped and prayed in my heart of hearts that she would be blessed with the same kind of teachers and environment with ample space to grow in grade 1 as well.

Theres no doubt that I am glad that I chose the particular school for Namnam because the principles on which the school is being run and the various programmes that the school has in place for its pupils convince me thoroughly as a parent that they would benefit my child in the long run.

But unfortunately I have not been getting a very welcoming vibe from Namnam’s Grade 1 teacher. I cant seem to agree very well with her method of approaching her students. Now I know I have no right to judge her for she has the humongous task of handling 20-25 kids at a time in her class. And I respect her and all the teachers for that because I know how difficult it can be to handle so many children with so many different traits and characteristics.

But the fact also remains that one of her students is my child. And when she comes home crying uncontrollably to say that her teacher wrongly taunted her of dreaming because she was not writing what was being asked of her, I am seriously driven to think if its something I should worry about.

What disturbs me is not that she scolded her. No I have no issues whatsoever with her scolding my child. She has every right to, if my child is in the wrong. I send my child to the school, thereby to her knowing fully well that they expect me to place the trust in them and that she will be their responsibility and if she misbehaves or does anything wrong they would have all the authority to correct her, be stern with her, scold her and even reprimand her if needed. But mock her? Taunt her? Now is that really a good method to get the child to adhere to you?

From what I could gather from Namnam, what upset her the most was that her teacher taunted her in a mocking way in front of her classmates. The best way I could think of to pacify her was to tell her to ignore and practice her writing at home. We told her that her teacher had to be given the same importance as her parents and that if she had scolded her for something, she would also commend her when she did something right. It was important that she didn’t begrudge her teacher.

A similar incident occurred with one of Namnam’s classmates, also a friend’s daughter when she was unable to finish jotting down some notes in her book to which the teacher took a swipe at her by calling her a ‘slow-coach’, after which all her friends kept jibing her with the term. She was inconsolable when she got home and recounted the incident to her mother.

Now I understand that taunts, jibes or pokes by friends and peers are a part of growing up, but is it really healthy when a teacher uses such a tactic to tackle her students? Wouldn’t the confidence level of the child take a hit if he/she is snubbed in front of his/her friends? Every child is different but if he/she is treated with the right kind of sensitivity then will it not make him/her secure and confident?

I dont know if talking to the teacher would help for I fear it may put my child in the spotlight which may counter-react. Or if I should just talk to the principal and address my concerns so he can take it up with the teacher without mentioning the particular ward’s name. But what if the principal brings it up with the teacher specifically mentioning my daughter?

Or maybe I am just over-reacting. May be this is just her way of teaching her children to become tough and more accepting towards criticism.

Maybe I should just leave it as a non-issue.

There are so many conflicting worries cropping up in my mind!

(S)welled up..

With pride.

The 5 and a half years of motherhood have given me ample and more things to learn, to grow as a mother( have miles to go before I can grow upto be even half as good a mother as my Ma though), to feel blessed. And I can never thank God enough for bringing Namnam into my life for she makes me appreciate this wonderful life as a mother all the more, for I learn a new facet of parenting everyday as I watch her grow. Be it her first smile, her first step, her first word, the first time she said ‘Amma’, be it the first time she said ‘I love you’ and every time after that, be it her first day in school, be it her first stage performance, each chapter in her life has been an overwhelming curve for me as well.

And yesterday was one such moment where my li’l sweetheart made me all teary-eyed and immensely proud like always.

Her school had organized its science exhibition yesterday. Her(rather her parents’) project was to make a volcano. And her teacher called up to tell us that she wanted Namnam to speak a few sentences as well on a certain topic on the given day. Now since R is the craftier one in the family, quite conveniently the task of making the volcano was handed over to him and I volunteered to take up the easier task of prepping Namnam for the talk .

When the teacher called up to say that she wanted Namnam to speak in front of people, knowing fully well that she was one of those shy kinds who had to be pushed into coming out of the shell, I couldnt help but feel grateful yet again for she was blessed with such attentive and wonderful teachers in this academic session as well. Here was a teacher who knew she was shy and soft-spoken, urging me to prep her to talk a few sentences ‘loudly’- yes she must have mentioned the term loud at least 4-5 times in between our brief conversation – so she could come out of her shell and learn to be more confident to face the crowd.

So after all the prepping up, I was all nervous and excited about how the day would fare, while Namnam was plain excited! R & I walked in straight to her class room where the children and teachers had exhibited the projects and were all geared up with their presentations. I wont lie, but I couldnt hold myself still when Namnam finished with her talk. I just wanted to run and hug her tight and point my pride to everyone! But guess what, R beat me to it and ran before me to give her a tight hug and a kiss while I was fiddling with my video .  And yes she was  confidently LOUD enough for all the visitors present there to hear . Although R & I knew she would give us and herself even more moments like this to feel proud of, yet we couldnt stop ourselves from telling her how proud we were of her, the whole day!

And I have no one but her school and teachers to thank for it so evident how much effort and care they had put in to help her bring out her confident self. Its moments like this that reiterate how a good school can be as instrumental in shaping a child and guiding her/him towards becoming a better person. At this moment all I can hope and pray is that Namnam is always blessed with such wonderful teachers to guide in every walk of her life.

Games Our Children Play

Let me ask you something. If your child comes up to you and asks if he/she can play house-house or ghar-ghar with friends, you won’t think even for a fraction of a second before saying ‘yes’, will you? I know I won’t. In fact when I see Namnam pouring ‘tea’ into her little ‘tea-cups’ and serving it to her friends or when she puts on her gloves to take out ‘freshly-baked pizza’ from her ‘oven’ or simply rolls out a dough onto her chakla to make rotis, I go on a nostalgic trip of my own drawing similarities to my own childhood.

I remember for us kids ghar-ghar meant having a kitchen stocked with the usual saucepan, kadhai, glasses, plates, spoons,etc and each of us had a role to play. One of us would be the ‘husband’ who would have a newspaper in his hand while the ‘wife’ would bring tea, make two cups and start complaining to the ‘husband’ about how their children troubled her and didnt ‘study’. And the rest of us acted as ‘children’ either doing our homework or playing marbles or ‘gotiyaan’ as the game was known or just getting reprimanded by ‘our parents for our supposed ‘misdoings’ . And on days one of us had our barbie doll set, were the happiest of days. Because we could try out different dresses on her, deck her up and take chances singing lullabies to her and carrying her like a baby.

So today when I hear the term play-house or ghar-ghar, that’s image that conjures up in my mind. Namnam and her friends are combing their respective barbie’s hair, dressing her up, tucking her in bed and I smile and wish to myself that they would never grow out of this innocence.

Having said that, yesterday, when one of my relatives shared a disturbing incident that occured in the school where she teaches, it got me wondering if innocence was indeed at risk and somewhere the parents had a hand in it.

It happened in one of the school buses. A 4 year old kindergartener went up to her friend and asked him to join her in the backseat on the pretext of playing ghar-ghar. To say that I was shocked at hearing what she did next would be an understatement. She took the boy to the backseat, removed her underwear and
told him to lie on top of her. Luckily the conductor caught them just in time and reported them to their parents. The perplexed parents approached the school principal who in turn summoned the girl. And as it turned out, the girl revealed that this was a game which she and a couple of her friends in the class played regularly. Upon being asked from where she learned this game, she replied,’ mere mummy-papa khelte hai’(my mummy-papa play this game).

Now, I understand that children grasp things very fast, but if a 4year old girl asks a boy to lie on top of her then it clearly means that children grasp things much faster and much more than what they are meant to.

So how do we address this issue? Who do we blame here?

• Do we blame these little children who dont even know what making love is or to put it more bluntly, having sex is? Do they even need to know?
• Do we blame the TV shows, movies, advertisements, etc. for inflating their curiosity level?
• Do we blame the living conditions in our country where so many families live in one-room flats giving zero privacy because of which many times children end up seeing things which they are not supposed to?
• Or do we blame our regressive mentality where ‘SEX‘ is still a taboo subject and any inquisitive query from a child is treated with a snub or a shove?

Or is it time that we parents introspected? Will it help in safeguarding our little ones’ innocence if we, parents are a little more cautious and careful? Will it help if we parents are a little more encouraging towards discussing this subject more openly? So that if and when our little inquisitive-minds come up to us with any questions, we are ready and open enough with answers that are appropriate for their age?