I cant believe its been two years! On this day, exactly two years back, Namnam came into our lives as a divine blessing. I still remember the moment when my doctor placed my precious little in my arms right after she sprang out of me. She fitted perfectly well in there. It was a mixture of emotions- I was elated, yet didn’t have the energy to show it, I wanted to cry out loud when I realized she will not be within me anymore. I somehow had got used to her being there. Yet, I was immensely proud of myself that I could bring her out of me. It was, for me, a major feat achieved. I knew how my Ma must have felt. Ravs and I had an even stronger bond to connect us to each other. We had waited a long long time for this day to come. We were eagerly looking forward to playing our new roles together.
My Namnam is turning two and I can’t help but reminisce about the times when she used to keep me on guard…she still does though, but in a different way. I’m talking about those endless nights when she used to keep me awake with her colicky-wail or when she used to wake up in the middle of the night for diaper-change. I used to feel terribly guilty at cringing at those moments. I used to ask my Ma to tend to her so I could have my wink of sleep. I always thought, as a mother you are supposed to be savouring such moments, but here I was making faces at my plights! And then there were those times when she had just started rolling over and crawling and I was again kept on my toes. She was even more vulnerable. She had fallen off the bed a couple of times and I was always on alert. Now, at two, more than being vulnerable, she is at a destructive phase.
Having said all of this, when I think of the time she said her first word, she took her first step, she gave me her first kiss (not a peck but a real one which she meant) and more importantly, when she said ‘Amma’ for the first time… all those unpleasant moments seem meaningless. I see the unconditional love in her eyes which are so expressive and I have tears in my eyes…
Today, as Namnam steps into her third year, as much as we are thankful to God for this blessed life, my mind is full of anxieties, fears and concerns about raising a girl-child in this world. I’m not denying that parents who have sons don’t have to go through any challenges. Its just that I feel girls are more susceptible to the dangers of life. And no matter how hard it may be stressed that men and women are equal, I’ll know in my heart of hearts that it’s a Man’s world and I’ll have to really make sure that my daughter is brought up to be a strong assertive woman who can stand up to what she feels and knows is right and not condescend to what people around her are saying.