I was all of 22 and still undecided whether to get married or no.Oh no,I did want to get married,but didn’t know if I was ready to be married so soon.I was so not ready to look my best and offer tea to the prospective candidates and then wait with shutterbugs in my stomach for their approval.I agreed to meet him purely at the insistence of my parents who had already met him and liked him.Yes,in this case it was the other way round.The girl’s family had okayed the boy and his family first!To top it up,he had to be at his behavioral best not only with my parents but my Achachan,Ammamma,Maama(my mom’s brother)& Ammayi also!
When my parents met him after the usual horoscope matching,family background checking,et cetera,et cetera they told me they had liked him very much but the decision entirely rested on me.They showed me a not-very-clear-snap of his(he looked as if he had gulped about 5pegs of Vodka) and asked me to meet him once before I took my decision.He called the very same day to fix up the time and place to meet.Since our offices were a few blocks apart from each other in Connaught Place,we arranged to have lunch in one of the restaurants there.It was decided that he would meet me outside my office.’Ok’,said I.
As I stood outside my office feeling nervous and unsure about my future and what it held for me,I failed to realise that I was actually waiting for him and not the other way round as I had heard.And then I saw him walking towards with the most captivating smile I’d ever seen in my life.He had had me in that one smile!
We,then,headed to the restaurant to have lunch.That’s when he asked what I was looking for in my life-partner.I told him my life partner had to be tall,handsome,loving,and caring.Someone who accepted my family the way I would his..The cliche’d answers,I know.And then he asked me this very pertinent question,’Is it not important that your life partner has a good sense of humour?’I had never thought about it then.
Now I realise how right he was.It is as important in a marriage to make each other laugh as it is to love,care,fight,criticise,appreciate,accept each other’s families,give each other space,accept each other’s drawbacks,support each other’s endeavours and so on.He never lets go of an opportunity to make me laugh.
Anyhow,getting back to our story,we were hardly sure in that half hour rendezvous that we wanted to spend the rest of our life together.But we were sure of one thing-that we certainly wanted to continue seeing each other more often.And thus started our journey towards a life of togetherness.
We were engaged exactly one month later.In the ensuing five months,we got ample time to know each other well,to talk our heart out,to realise that we indeed were ready to spend our lives together.I still remember the day he proposed to me.He said,’Our families seem to have decided on bringing us together.But I,myself have never asked you this.’And out popped the eternal question.’Will you marry me?’For a fraction of a second I was dumbstruck and thankfully he couldn’t see my jaw-drop expression as the whole proposal was being putforth over the phone.He had taken me completely off-guard!I was suddenly aware I WAS ready to be married.Here was a man who wanted to be as much with me for the rest of his life as I did with him.I was on top of the world.And I said ‘YES!I will’.In a few months we were married.
In the 9years that we have been together,we grew to love each other immensely.We learnt to accept and respect each other despite our differences and drawbacks.He became my best friend.Someone with whom I could share my innermost feelings with no inhibitions whatsoever.
I discovered,over the years,that,although he would never be explicit in his feelings for me like I am,he had the most inane quality of making me feel special at times when I’d be least expecting it.He never forced his beliefs and opinions on me.In fact he would always encourage me to stick to my own.When we fought,it would always be him who makes the first move towards a truce!And I have to admit here,that more often than not,I would be the one at fault.All he had to do was,activate his funnier persona,say something utterly laughable and BAM!The ice would be broken** and I’d be giggling through my tears!
When I was desperate to become a mother and I was on the verge of losing all my hopes of becoming one,he re-instilled the faith in me,assured me that all was not lost.In the midst of my torrential outbursts on him at not being able to conceive,he kept his cool and gave me the much needed strength and support.Eventually we were blessed with a beautiful daughter and I discovered yet another side of his-of a doting father.
TODAY,as R and I step into our tenth year together,I realise what a fulfilling and treasurable ride it has been.And yet there is so much more love in us to give each other.We have so much more to learn and discover about each other.There is still so much more to talk about,fight about and eventually laugh about.
On that note I sign off with a quote by Mark Twain “Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.”
There is still so much more to look forward to….
**(source of the statement-Shail)