Heading back

This happens with me always.Even when Namnam & I set out for Delhi,I felt very uncomfortable about having to leave home and disturb my whole routine in the process.Oh no!Its not that I wasn’t looking forward to seeing my parents.I was.It was just that I was so much in rhythm with the way my life was moving,that it irked me to get away from that.And now,as its time for us to head back to our domain in Doha,I’m again feeling depressed and uneasy to get back to the same grind.

Namnam enjoyed her stay,to the hilt.She made some new friends.She got to play and mess around,to her heart’s content,in the mud(I’ve a strong doubt,she got to taste some as well).She,even,had ample experiences taking rides on cycle rickshaws.To the extent that she would insist on going on one even if the place would just be a block away!
And most importantly she grew much closer to her Thaatha,Ammachan & Ammamma.With each passing day spent with them,she learnt to become more and more expressive.As for them,the Grands,they had a time of their life with their granddaughter.

As I watch them savoring each moment with her,I cant help feeling sad to leave them behind.I realize,life can be so strange.To ensure better lives for our children,we leave our parents back and move away to greener pastures and make them yearn for us even more.We overlook the fact that they were there for us when we needed them the most.And today,when they need us the most,we choose to be with our children.Where and how do we strike a balance? I know there’s no one answer to that.I myself,dont have one.But these are thoughts that have been brewing inside me for quite sometime.Then I read this brilliant post by Solilo on Empty Nesting.And I thought I should also vent my thoughts.Hence this post.

Anyway,on a positive note,I can take some solace in the fact that I’ll be going to a country which is just about 3-4hours away,by flight.I can rush back to be with my parents as and when I want.Unlike many others living farther away in countries like,Australia,USA or UK,who feel deprived of such little mercies!

Off I go,now,to resume my packing.So,till you hear from me again,its Asta La Vista!

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23 thoughts on “Heading back

  1. Have a safe trip…Yeah, leaving is always a bit difficult, whether you’re leaving home or your parents’ place. Good that Namnam got a taste of some Indian soil literally and otherwise:)

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  2. have a safe trip back.

    going and coming is a part of life…and so difficult. It’s especially difficult for your parents I’m sure. They’ll have to adjust to not two of their loved ones…their daughter and grandchild. how difficult that must be. sigh. i miss my mom 😦

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  3. Have a safe trip πŸ™‚
    (((hugs))for namnam πŸ™‚
    and yes Solilo’s post touched a chord ..she wrote so poignantly ….

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  4. Deeps, it is always tough to come back. I go for 4 months vacation every year and still yearn for more 😦 It is never enough for me. But these days when I come back, I get to the routine faster. May be because now I have a daughter who demands my attention so I get busy with my life here too.

    Think about it. Didn’t our parents leave their native too? May be for education, may be for work. Then they had us and gave us a beautiful life. We aren’t different from them. Be it Delhi or Dubai or USA or UK, all of us are away to make a better life. The life we want. That is what we teach our children too. Tomorrow Namnam and Peanut might have dreams of their own too.

    I know of a friend who reached India when a parent needed her than another daughter who was living in Mumbai. One flew for almost 30 hrs and another who was just 2-3 hrs by flight couldn’t reach before the other one.

    So distance in miles doesn’t matter but distance in heart does. When children stop caring, loving and have no emotional attachment..that hurts. Even living in the same house, if children can’t have a heart to heart talk with a parent then what’s the point?

    When children call to wish birthdays or to enquire health or simply those calls to ask what Mom and Dad had for Breakfast…all that matters. Matters the most. The feeling that wherever the children are, they have parents in their heart and thoughts, matters the most.

    Oh dear! I have become a comment monster too. :)))))))

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  5. Come back fast…but I can imagine, I go through the same heart break when I come back, but then life has to go on, there is school and the kids to think of, so I shut out the image of amma, with her lips trembling, trying not to cry as she waves at us at the airport…

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  6. Have a safe and enjoyable journey !!
    I know how difficulkt it is to leave behind your parents. Even I at my age feel the same because i am always unsure whether I will see her again, but thats life. Even living in the same country I get to meet my mother once in a year, and it is same for my children living abroad….

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  7. Sorry,people for responding in so late to your comments…had been a bit tied up with all the unpacking and unwinding(which I'm still)!

    @NM:Thank you:)..yes,leaving is very hard.I'm missing my folks already:(

    @A;Thanks:).My parents are having a tough time adjusting to the quieter surroundings now.They have made umpteen calls and smss since our arrival!

    @wordjunkie:We just have to move on…thats what life is!Thanks,W:)

    @Indyeah:We did have a safe trip,thank you:)
    Hugs back to you:))

    @Solilo:Yes,I know what you mean.Our parents too left their homes to give us a better life.But I'm sure their parents too would have yearned for them when they moved away.And now when Peanut & Namnam grow and lead their lives their way,as much as you & I would be happy for their choices,in our heart of hearts we'd be aching for them to be near us,isnt it?These thoughts upset me,Sols.
    But as you said,correctly,its not the distance in place but the distance in heart that matters.And you and I are fortunate that our parents have the faith in us to be assured we'll be there for them whenever they need us.
    Thanks so much for those reassuring words:)

    @Goofymumma:Thank you so much:)

    @Sindhu:I could actually visualise what you said about your Amma,andI've tears in my eyes.Hugs to you,Sindhu:)

    @Renu:Thank you.I'm sure you're have making the most of your time with your children now:)Have a great time!

    @Umm Oviya&NIlah:hee hee!Thanks.will call you soon:)

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  8. I am too late reading this !!
    glad to have you back.. does it mean more blogging from now on??
    Also with this post.. it is something I cant come terms with and I can ramble about it for a long time…and lot has been discussed here and hence I wont talk about it.
    anyways Happy unpacking !!!

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  9. Life is a bit complicated thats how it is….well one has to move on in life and things are never the same as time passes by.

    I should say i liked the header of your blog with a beautiful, cute angels picture on it…she youe daughter i suppose…very cute!!!

    Cheers..take care

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  10. Deeps, Really late in commenting here – been busy for the last few days.. It is heartrenching, leaving our parents.. Last time was even worse with my daughter clinging on to them and refusing to let go.. Both of us cried like crazy at the airport… I miss them so much! Guess, as my dad says – its all part of life.. and as you say – we can just count our blessings and hope that we can be for them when they really need us..

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  11. I read and loved Solilo’s post too. I guess this is how life is, I am prepared for my kids to settle where ever life takes them within the next few years.
    My mother is alone too, although she is busy and has a life of her own, I would have loved it if I was some where closer…

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  12. Deeps..as always I kinda feel so like myself wen i read you…juz dunno..some emotional bond i gather πŸ™‚ i can understand how u feel..but as ya rytly said u r jzu a couple f hours away!! so cheerio!!:)

    love to namnam too!! πŸ™‚

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  13. VJ,Nazish,Smitha,IHM,& Sashu,thank you all so much for sharing your thoughts.Yes,I understand life has to move on and it is slowly getting back to its routine.
    I'm sorry for replying in late.This time the culprit is my comp which has been giving me problems since the day I got back.Hence the delay in publishing all your comments.

    Life is looking brighter now with my connection back.Will be visiting you all and catching up with you soon:)

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  14. Oh very homesick,Solilo!As for Namnam,she has adjusted to her routine amazingly well.She does miss her grandparents though,but she is as much thrilled to see her room,her toys and meet up with her friends.I was quite surprised to see that!

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  15. It is not really ‘overlooking the fact that they were there for us’ Not at all. They were there for us and we are there for our children and our children for their’s. Young ones leave the nest, in fact SHOULD and make a life of their own. Solilo has put it well.
    Come to think of it, why would you pine for your child when he/she grows up and goes away to lead his/her life?? It is not as if love or attachement is lost. Though my sons stay miles away from me, I feel closest to them.
    Most of the commenst speak of guilt when leaving parents’ home. I sincerely hope I have raised my childre not to feel that guilt. When they come they should have a wonderful time and leave us, their parents and return just as happily, not with any guilt at leaving us behind. I simply cannot understand the guilt trip. Well, I concede I am from Neptune! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜›

    I am yet to get down to your tag Deeps. I just got back from my vacation and am still busy trying to get back to the old routine as also catching up on friends’ blogs!

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