Can girls really be friends?

I was reading an article in one of the magazines wherein this question was posed.The article was presented as a debate and two women had contributed with their own differing opinions with a ‘Yes’ and a ‘No’. After reading it,I thought it would be interesting to ask myself the same question.

I went to a co-ed school which means,I’ve been fortunate enough to form some wonderful friendships with both boys and girls over the years. And I cherish all of them. But I’ve always been closer to my girl-friends, because they understand me better.

I believe that there are certain things that you can discuss and experience only with your girlfriends…be it having endless discussions about your crushes. Or be it experiencing a state of Nirvana(well,almost! ) by ogling at handsome hunks, or be it simply heading out for a walk just to feel kicked up about being ogled at !! Or be it sharing the misery of your wretched menstrual cramps and empathizing with each other. Or better still, be it going on a shopping spree, picking the trendiest of clothes,parading in front of the mirrors together and boosting each other’s egos !!

Courtesy Google Images

I doubt if, even discussing these things with boys would be half as fun. Leave aside,experiencing !

I know, gossiping,bitching,back-stabbing,mud-slinging, and the likes are some of the other things attributed to us. Yes,many a time,they can spoil a friendship. But,in defense of the sisterhood, men gossip too,don’t they? They may probably have a different name to it…a heart-to-heart talk ,a frank opinion or whatever. Basically they too have disagreements among each other. And sometimes it can even reach a stage where they wont shirk from taking out their cycle-chains,hockey-sticks or baseball-bats to thrash each other to oblivion.

At least we’re not that harmful . I can proudly say that. All we do is indulge in some harmless gossiping or some verbal-spats,if things get out of hands or at times, if we are really good with words,blog about it and kick it out of our system ;). And the rest of us,who are not so good at it,just ignore. Thats it.

That will certainly not mean I’ll stop making friends with girls. I will because I know we are fun to be with despite our hiccups.

So,if I ask myself ‘Can girls really be friends?’. My answer is ‘yes,of course’.

Ok,now before our men from Mars come out in unison to thrash me,let me just go back to the safe cocoon of my planet Venus πŸ˜€

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68 thoughts on “Can girls really be friends?

      1. LOL
        Oh yes, that’s for sure. Btw, ‘think abt it’ remark was just a quick way to get out of the discussion. If deeps comes back to me, I’ll can still say “I’m still thinking”….

        D: Masood,I think you just read the ‘go with the flow,buddy’ part. You didnt read what Vims said about digging your own grave,did you?? πŸ‘Ώ

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  1. I donno how it works between girls…but my best friend is a girl…and she discusses everything under the sun with me, same with me too….infact, some of my good buddies are girls !!! Probably, they feel ‘safe’ when Im around…lol…:D πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Btw, it would be appreciable if you could throw some more light on this.. “experiencing a state of Nirvana” !!! πŸ˜‰

    D: Its the same feeling that you experience when you ogle at Goldie Hawn 😈 😈

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  2. I totally second Vimmuuu’s opinion my best friend is also a girl and she shares with me everything even things she can’t share them with her sister, mom or girlfriends.

    According to her, I can understand her better than anybody else, so I would say it’s not about being a girl or boy but the chemistry amidst.

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    1. @Vimmu @Prats : I understand what you’re saying. I’m comfortable interacting with both boys and girls. But there are times when I feel the need to talk my heart out to my girl-friends because they may be able to relate with what I am going through at that point in time, better
      And my closest girl-friend and I have never had an iota of negativity or bitchiness between us that is normally attributed to us.

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  3. “I know, gossiping,bitching,back-stabbing,mud-slinging, and the likes are some of the other things attributed to us.”

    I have seen equal amount of men doing all that and even worse.

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  4. I don’t care about gender when it comes to friends. While growing up I had both boys and girls as my friends and best friends. I still am in touch with lot of friends from that time though it is more like a group mail or update on ‘where we are in life’.

    Even though I am comfy with having guy friends, I think there are times when I want to share some things with a closest girlfriend. The emotional aspect and though process that I want at that moment, I prefer a girl’s view at that time. Guy friends are more for leg pulling and masti.


    D: You know in school,we were a group of 6 friends,3girls and 3 boys and I remember how much fun we used to have by pulling each other’s legs and playing pranks on others. But us girls had always had this special bond and little talks between us that the boys never understood πŸ™‚
    Even today they are two of my closest girl-friends. We may not meet or talk for months together but we still share the same bond πŸ™‚

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  5. i second solilo… men are better friends. But i think they are better freinds to girls and girls would be better friends to boys!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜† I think freud will be proud of me!! πŸ˜†

    D: I’ve found some equally good friends in both men & women πŸ™‚

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  6. Wonder if gender ever made a difference when I made friends πŸ˜‰ Looking back, I had more boy friends than girls all the time till I entered this world of blogging. Its only here that I have so many girl friends LOL πŸ˜†

    D: It never made a difference to me either,Swar. Its just that,as Smits aptly put,in certain circumstances girl-friends relate better πŸ™‚

    Guys r equally into the gossip business .. superb terms u hv coined there .. heart-to-heart talk eh πŸ˜‰

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  7. no matter how good girl friends are, they always bitch about each other with me πŸ˜‰ maybe, i’m too good πŸ˜›

    D: And you love to hear them bitch,nahi??? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

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  8. Can girls be friend..yes ofcourse πŸ˜‰
    Till college ..i had both guys and gals as good frens..and i use to feel the same as u said….some girly things u can discuss with girls only…

    but after joining office..i rarely had any girl in my circle..reasong being…there are hardly any girl..so i have to discuss anything under sun..with guys fren only…I m so use to of it now from yrs that i dont feel any difference….

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  9. Of course, girls can be friends! I have both men and women friends – both equally close ones too.. The way I look at it – sometimes, I need my girl friends and only girl friends would do πŸ™‚ You know, I always wanted a sister – and I think the bond between 2 sisters is amazing – that is the same with girl friends(really close ones). The emotional support and understanding that a girl friend can give is amazing.. The difference is mainly because I guess girl friends can relate better in some circumstances.. Other than that – I can honestly say that I value both my men and women friends equally.

    As for bitching/gossiping – men do it all! Even more from my experience -especially as we grow older. I think the myth about all girl friends sharing a bitchy/gossipy relationship has been perpetuated by men to try and make them seem nicer πŸ˜‰

    Lovely post, Deeps..

    D: “I think the myth about all girl friends sharing a bitchy/gossipy relationship has been perpetuated by men to try and make them seem nicer ;)” very well said,Smits! This is exactly what it is. Excellent comment πŸ™‚

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      1. I agree with Smitha Deeps. I have both men and women as close friends and both are a blessing.

        Good one Smitha,“I think the myth about all girl friends sharing a bitchy/gossipy relationship has been perpetuated by men to try and make them seem nicer” LOL … πŸ™‚ Ha ha πŸ˜†

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            1. I hear she is coming to India !!! and if I gotta get her to bake on her vacation in July !!! I better start buttering her right away !!!! πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

              D: Before her,our very own Crackpot will be there. What have you lined up for her….aside Akuri,of course?? πŸ˜›

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  10. yeahh offcourse.They can handle serious\sensitive personal matters properly.I guess we need both female friends and male friends for ‘balancing’ purpose.
    @ crushes , hunks,chiks — now a days most of them used discuss that with each other…I’m sure now a days it is not a girl-girl , boy-boy secret ……when i was in college girls and guys used to ‘help’ each other in that cases πŸ˜‰
    At least we’re not that harmful really ??? πŸ™„ you are joking right πŸ˜€

    P.S : Apart from that, from whom else we can hear those dumb \silly jokes πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Between forget 2 add , when it comes friendship,i don’t mind whether the person is male or female,what matter is whether i’m comfortable with them or not(or get along with them)

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  11. One more fan to Smitha, here! We need girl friends to emotionally fall back on! Men are good and harmless friends, while just doing general discussions. They will just nod their heads for whatever we say, never argue! Let them talk whatever they want behind our backs!

    Very very interesting post and comments too, Deepu!

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  12. I agree to what smitha said,there is always a special bond between sisters.Me and my elder sister talk a lot and people who see/listen to us think from where we get so many topics to talk.

    When i was working i used to have many boys as friends and rarely i had girl friends,the girls who were working with me used to bitch too much which i used to avoid and later learnt that even boys bitch.The guy who was close to me bitched about me.

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  13. Totally agree with you, Deeps. one thing I really really miss is having my girlfriends around me. I like the word you used ‘nirvana’ ha ha. Perfect πŸ™‚

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  14. Girlfriends are life savers!!
    For gossip, for sympathy, for straight talking, for listening, for shopping, for bitching about someone else!!!
    Girlfriends are a must!

    Of course 2 girls can be just friends!!!

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  15. I think the arguments against girls being friends “gossiping,bitching,back-stabbing,mud-slinging” are blown waaay out of proportion. Most of the girl friends that I have and had (the genuine ones btw) have been loyal and supportive and always sympathetic. There are certain things about women that no man will ever get and thats why we need female friends :))

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  16. Had great fun reading the article and the comments πŸ˜‰ I think that girls can be friends with SOME girls and SOME boys. It has to click whether it be boys or girls.

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  17. Deeps I need both my guy and gal friends!! even though to be honest I have very few girl friends. *delete this comment after you read in case a certain Mr. Bajpai lands here* :mrgreen:

    Of course girls can be good friends. ain’t we all such nice buddies by now?

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  18. Have you tried gossiping with guys? abhaa they are the worst I tell you! But J’s male friends are so awesome, they come up with the best PJ’s and stooopid nonsensical jokes, keep us in splits. But for a shoulder to cry on and to shop like a maniac,and an ear to hear gossip I definitely need my girlfriends!

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  19. of course, girls can be good friends .. whatever made the magazine think otherwise..that said ,most of my closest friends are male… they come with lesser emotional baggage,according to me ..

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  20. I agree with you totally…there is so many girlie things which I can do only with my friends who are girls…this way both of us can do lots of gossiping …but I can say for a fact guys do even more gossiping than girls

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  21. Thank you,dear friends for sharing your thoughts. I’m glad to know we are in unison here πŸ™‚

    Yes,girls can be friends. And very good friends. Gossiping,backbiting and mudslinging are not the only things we can do together. We are much more than that. We can stick by each other when the going gets tough,we can cry on each other’s shoulder and feel lighter,we can laugh hysterically at each other’s silliest and the dumbest of jokes. We can have the staunchest of opinions about issues and disagree with each other but we can also respect each other’s views.

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  22. I think you’re truly fortunate if you’ve got close friends from both genders. Like you said, there are some things for which you need a female friend’s support, but there are also other things for which a guy’s take is better.

    D: Of course there are,Shalom. A man’s opinion carries a lot of weightage too. I say that because there’s not decision that I take without discussing with my husband,who’s much wiser and more experienced than me. His take is what I value the most.
    With this post,I merely wanted to negate this general notion that girls get together only to bitch or gossip or bad-mouth πŸ™‚

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  23. Sure, they can be but girls and guys can be friends too. I have good friends from college who have been friends through out, but we girls lost track with each other with our family fixations…but I have heard of friendships that have tidded over time, but I have not been one of the lucky ones, I guess…

    D: Oh Yes,Sindhu,girls and guys can be friends too. I had lost touch with many of my school friends too. And then Orkut came as a blessing-in-disguise :). I’ve found most of my schoolmates there and now we are much in contact. Its a wonderful feeling!

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  24. what do I say now….. !!!! girls-girls. boys-boys. girls -boys.
    But there are bitter cat fight!! blown out of proportion for sure,
    I have a few close-close friends amongst girls n boys… n I love them to bits:))))))

    D: Thats so sweet,PNA πŸ™‚

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  25. Girls can be friends, yes , yes , yes!!
    I need my gfs to rant about a bad haircut, get excited about a sale and they are the only ones who care about my new shoes……seriously gfs make life worth living……..:-) πŸ™‚

    D: HI5,Sands ! πŸ™‚

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  26. Ofcourse girls can be friends. Boys bitch too, and in fact I feel that boys tend to be very competitive at times which can ruin the friendship. When it comes to friendship I think there isn’t much difference between the sexes, although the reasons why friendships break can be different. I think those who say girls cannot be friends must be hating their sex for some reason because why say something that simply isn’t true? I have friendships dating back years, but if I meet anyone who is petty and bitchy I keep away from that person for sure! There are some people who can never be good friends and they are no good friends to anybody. They can be both guys and girls!! I can be friends with boys too, but frankly I prefer girls when it comes to talking my heart out!!

    D: Yes,Nita,there are times when I feel the need too,to talk my heart out only to my girlfriends πŸ™‚

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  27. it wud be safe if i didn’t comment! but then, what fun is a safe life? :mrgreen:

    i prefer guys as friends to gals somehow.. probably coz most gal friends were a lil diff frm my interests…

    but my best friend from school is a gal and so is one from college and one from office!! πŸ˜€

    i agree the bond shared with gals is special, but best friend from college was a guy, and i’ll have to admit i can tell him anything under sun…

    πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    but yeah, gals can surely be friends!!! and they can set a house ablaze!!! tee hee!!!!

    i guess we need both for a balanced life!! πŸ˜€

    D: Yes we do,Crafty. Its so so good to see you back,sweetie πŸ™‚

    hugsssssssss!

    D: Hugsieeeee πŸ™‚

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  28. But somehow its easier for a guy and girl to become close. Platonic of course. It just depends I suppose, on the type of people involved and the comfort level. That apart, of course girls can be friends. Unbelievably good ones πŸ™‚

    D: Welcome here,Divya πŸ™‚

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  29. female bonding at the best:)Generally in parties etc, I used to see that women talk only about dresses, or kids, so found them quite boring:)….but sisters are so different, me and my sis are so bonded together that we talk everyday,and share eevrything..

    D: I wish I had a sister too ! Sisters can be so much fun together πŸ™‚

    yes I like talking to everybody but with women its totally a different feeling if we are on the same wavelength.

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  30. Hey! Interesting discussion. I don’t believe girls and girls can’t be friends it’s all on personal choice. I personnally had my best mate to be female up til 6th grade then after that it was a combination of both (meaning I have always been in a group where there are a combination of both genders)

    And I do agree that you can discuss some things more with girls and other with boys. πŸ™‚

    D: Yes both our girlfriends and boyfriends play significant roles in our lives. Welcome here,Badz πŸ™‚

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  31. Deeps you are 100% spot on-there are some things-issues with maids and mils, chums, mood swings, M&Bs, PMS, and just a few hundred more which I can share only with the girls…besides the bitching and gossiping…..

    D: Couldn’t have agreed with you more,Hypermom πŸ™‚

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  32. look at us girls here…we’re a house on fire…of course girls can be friends….well not necessarily best friends all the time but of course, friends….i did’nt even realize that question existed πŸ™‚

    see you around girlfriend πŸ™‚

    D: Hey! So good to see you,A. Welcome back πŸ™‚

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  33. I dunno why ppl relate friendship with sex!!! It is an indivdual thing nahin???

    D: Of course it is,Smita. I dont approach a friendship with gender in mind,either. Its just that there are certain things in my life that I experience which only my girl-friends can relate with better and I feel at ease talking about it with them. With this post I merely wanted to point out that friendships between girls/women go far beyond gossiping and bitching around πŸ™‚

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  34. Deeps..From my experience I think what you told is very correct. πŸ™‚ Bolo bolo girl-girl frndship ki JAI :)..
    And the fact is that girls can be good friends to both girls and boys..After all girls are better than boys in keeping friendship.. πŸ™‚ (Ithrayum vendaayirunnu lle?? :))
    Njan odi πŸ™‚

    P.S : Iniyum ithu pole enthenkilum ezhutheettu enne viliku njan SUPPORT -nu koodeyund πŸ™‚

    D: Teerchayayum vilikkam! Welcome here,Asha πŸ™‚

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  35. i have few really close girlfriends and they are not the type of girls who love to gossip.I know girls who can survive gossiping all day and i am not into that so i don’t really dig those type of friends…i have lots of male friends and they just live and let live, no back-biting,mud-slinging…when we find someone annoying we just laugh it off then proceed to another topic. πŸ™‚

    D: Welcome here,Whia πŸ™‚

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