(Not so)Dear Fraaandship seeking Guy or Gal or whoever you are,

Just because you have a ‘Dr’ or a ‘Prof’ prefixed to your name- a name that I can hardly decipher with all those symbols like &$#@*% thrown in BTW – or because you are a Malayali, or are from Delhi, or live in Doha DOES NOT qualify you to be my friend. Nope. Even if you have a profile pic of George Clooney or Roger Federer or Hrithik Roshan up on display…NOT EVEN THEN.

And if the smiling DP in my profile is what makes you assume that I will accept fraaandhip requests from strangers, then you’re highly mistaken. That smile is meant for my family & friends, strictly. For people like you who never cease to irritate me with your constant pokes I have a not-so-sweet and heavily repulsive smile up my chin to scare you away. Something along the lines of this…

Scary witch!

Also if you think that, by writing things like, ‘You have a sweet smile’ or ‘Oh! so you’re from Delhi? So am I. What a coincidence? Can we be fraaands then?’, you’ll get me all jumping with joy and moving my cursor to ‘accept the friendship’, you’ve got me wrong there as well. I’m well past the phase and age of getting floored by such cheeky pick-up lines.

Ok, I give you the benefit of doubt and agree that you may think I resemble someone you know. If that’s the case, then I urge you to notice the option ‘add a personal message’ and ask me. I’ll be glad to reply, ‘NO I’m NOT the one you’re looking for’.

Let me make it clear once and for all that I’ve listed myself on the social networking sites mainly to connect with my family and close friends and NOT to make random friendships with total strangers.

So refrain yourself from sending these friendship requests and save your time and energy for something more worthwhile.

With (dis)regards