This is one happy and grateful mother talking to you!

** The post had been lying in 4 separate drafts for the last two weeks and was taking forever to shape up because of a terrible writers block that I was going through. I feared if I didnt publish it anytime soon, then I’d never get around to doing it. So if at all you find the post incoherent apart from being ridiculously long, forgive me in advance πŸ˜€

When I was running around looking for a kindergarten for my child some months back, one of the primary things that I considered, besides the usual educational standards, the premises, the teacher-student ratio, the proximity, etc. was how well the school interacted with its pupils. Because for a shy girl like Namnam, it was very important to me that she went to a school that would help her to come out of her shell and mingle with other children more freely, that would help her become confident enough to handle different situations, that would help her tackle differences, if at all she faced with difficult and ill-mannered children, in the best way possible.

And I’m extremely glad that I chose this particular school for Namnam, because not only did it give her good values and education(and continues to do so), but it also helped her to bridge differences with a girl who had been snubbing her at every given opportunity.

It all started a few months back when Namnam’s teacher, Miss Y mentioned to me about this girl(let me call her RB) who had fiercely scribbled in Namnam’s book ruining the page beyond repair. Needless to say, Namnam was very upset that day and even went ahead and declared RB as a ‘bad girl’.

The teacher however assured me that she had reprimanded RB and that things were under control. But somehow Namnam was not convinced and every day she used to come back and tell me how RB always tried to poke or hit or beat other children. Thankfully whenever I asked her if she had ever been hit or poked by RB, she always said no she hadn’t. But she did point out that RB was always rude to her and even said once that she would ‘slap’ her. And I could make out from her tones that it was something that she was not very pleased with.

So I told her to tell RB sternly that if she didn’t stop being rude to her she would NOT be her friend. And if she still didnt stop then she should go and report RB straight to their teacher.

But Namnam’s stance that ‘RB was a bad girl’ remained unchanged.

Although RB’s behaviour bothered Namnam, I could sense that she was, knowingly or unknowingly starting to get influenced by RB. Which was evident when one day, Namnam,fleetingly remarked to me that if I didnt play with her she would ‘slap’ me! Even though I reprimanded her heavily and made her understand that such expressions will not be tolerated, I knew I had to bring up this issue with her school.

I had a heart to heart talk with Miss Y and I found out that RB behaved the way she did with not just Namnam but also with many other children from her class. Miss Y did assure me though, that she was taking necessary action to handle the situation and that children were under strict instructions not to interact with RB. She was categorically told that she would not be allowed to talk or play with others unless she mended herself.

The school’s method seemed to have had the desired effect because soon after I observed a softening in Namnam’s tone whenever she spoke of RB. She started talking about wanting to make a drawing for RB along with her other friends.

Last week it was RB’s birthday wherein she had got gifts for all the children in her class. And when I went to pick Namnam up from school, a very elated Miss Y told me that RB had declared to everyone that Namnam was her ‘best friend’. Miss Y and I had a good hearty laugh at the absolute change in dynamics!!

Later when we were back home, Namnam told us with a wide smile that RB had said sorry to her :). A very touching gesture by RB, I thought.

Today morning when I was getting Namnam ready for school, she said to me, ‘you know mama, RB was a bad girl but now she is a good girl and always my friend.’ I was immensely happy to see this complete overturn of stance! It was heartening to see a new friendship blooming.

And I have noone but the school to thank for this. The way the school handled the girl and eventually mended her made me realize how important a role, being in the right school, plays in shaping a child. I realized how important it is for schools to recognize the underlying behavioral issues of children which many a times get overlooked. I know this situation could not be clubbed under bullying but if the school had not addressed it in the way they did, it could have turned into a case of bullying which further could have had a negative impact on both RB and Namnam.

I strongly feel that

a school should not just strive to give good education, good manners and values to its children, but also strive towards giving them a secure and safe environment to bloom.

And I pray and hope that my daughter is always blessed with such a school.

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37 thoughts on “This is one happy and grateful mother talking to you!

    1. Glad that RB is making peace with everyone and calls Namnam her best friend πŸ™‚

      School plays a major role in shaping up child’s behaviour and they way he/she builds perspective around things..yes every School [of course the people who run it ;)] should realize what’s their responsibility and adhere to the norms πŸ™‚

      D: Precisely! You know the way I look at it is- if my child spends about 4-5 hours of her day in the school and if I, as a parent have the assurance that she will be safe and treated in a fair manner then the school, to me has its responsibilities well in place πŸ™‚

      YAY to the new friendship and a new post after a long time πŸ™‚

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  1. This is a positive post! Yes, I liked the way the school and teachers handled RB’s problem. The teacher could have punished the girl severely or the school could have sent the girl home. But they handled it it very well. In this way, RB didn’t become even more destructive, but started mingling with other children.

    D: Exactly, Sandhya. What I liked about the school was that it didnt shun the difficult child in any way or traumatized her, instead tacitly urged her to mend her behaviour thereby slowly making her realize where she went wrong.

    Who knows, children like Namnam might have influenced her to change.

    Lots of love and Hugs to Namnam! God bless her!

    D: Thank you so much, Sandhya :). Hugs from Namnam too πŸ™‚

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  2. I agree completely, a school has all the responsibilities you mentioned, and more!

    Btw, this episode sounded like an episode straight from the Bigg Boss house πŸ˜†


    D: LOL! Do you think the makers of Bigg Boss would have read this post..I may just have given them an idea to start a series of ‘Chottttte Boss’ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

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    1. And you know, at times when Yuvaan or Hayaa come home and tell me about some boy or girl at school or at the play area who has bullyed them, I get so horribly affected. Though I know, that they are just kids and obviously, these things happen, and that is a part of their growing up, I can’t stand the sight of them coming to me with a sad face saying that this guy hit me… or this guy scolded me… or something or the other. It is difficult being a parent, seriously.

      D: I get what you mean, Rakesh. I feel so too. As parents while we do stand up for our children in whichever way we can, when we realize that we cant always be with them, we feel terribly helpless, isnt it? 😦 Thats when I feel it becomes all the more necessary to ensure our children learn to handle difficult situations themselves.

      And when things turn out so nicely as they did in Namnam’s case, I can imagine your delight πŸ™‚

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  3. That’s so nice Deeps. School and teachers play such an important role in molding the young minds and hearts. God bless such nice souls πŸ™‚

    D: Absolutely, Swar, school and teachers play a very crucial part in shaping the minds and hearts of our children πŸ™‚

    So happy for Namnam and her new found friend. Yay πŸ™‚

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  4. I can imagine your delight after everything went on to be alright in the end πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

    D:You bet, CB πŸ˜€

    Three cheers to Namnam & RB’s friendship πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

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  5. Completely agree with you, I seriously dont beleive in todays age EDUCATION is the only thing, well Look at me I was passing barely but still i am where i am ..
    there are a lot of things to consider education is jsut part of it , first most is to be a good human being

    D: Bik, I strongly believe education is a must for every child. It IS a very important factor but yes, it is also important that while imparting education, the schools provide children a conducive environment too.

    and the school has done a good thing and I was thinking while reading the article that NamNam and RB will be best friends and I read the line where it was declared he heheeh This is how it usually happens…

    D: he he πŸ™‚

    School bullying is quiet common here in uk, and they are working on things how to recify but in Uk it too much of human rights “Β£$Β£ and too many do gooders..
    I am very much concerned on a mates son who is such a beautiful boy, really but its changing him into this bad boy now so much so That I have had to go to the headteacher and tell her that we are going to the police if any even occurs again… But I feel for the parents.

    D: Thats really sad! When parents send their children to a school, they place a great amount of trust there and when the schools dont honour that trust and start treating the students shabbily I can imagine how frustrating the parents may get. I hope your friends sorts the issue out with the school soon, Bik πŸ™‚

    I had a terrible schooling and god know how i wud have been had i not been bullied etc..

    SO glad about the ending and the two little ladies are best friends , heres wishing them both all the best and tons of love and hope the friendship lasts forever and ever …

    D: Thanks so much πŸ™‚

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  6. Deeps, as we discussed, it makes such a lot of difference, doesn’t it, the way the school tackled it? The school could have easily gone the other day, naming RB a ‘bad child’ and she would have stayed that way,. Instead, they made sure that RB understood good and bad behaviour, while ensuring that other children like Namnam are not affected by RB’s behaviour.

    D: Exactly, Smits! Like I said, how a school approaches a child makes a world of difference to how he/she shapes up and interacts with others.

    ANd you did a great thing by talking it out with her teacher!

    Hugs to Namnukutty and you!

    D: Awww, thank you, Smits. I’m sure even you’d have done the same if Kunju had faced such a situation. Ultimately what we want for our children is a safe and happy environment to groom and bloom, alle? And we’ll do anything to ensure that. Hugs to you too from both of us πŸ™‚

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  7. Wow that is a very very precious and rare incident! So so happy that Namnam goes to a school like that, and lucky RB, to get a chance to change so early on in life. Rock on teacher Y!

    D: Totally totally! Heres to teachers like Ms Y!! πŸ™‚

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  8. Deeps, You are right, it is important to get the right kind of school for your kids, by right kind of school we are actually talking about the teachers who handle our kids, in the case of both my children I had to go through very bad incidents with regard to their first school. Now that they are settled in good ones it is a major relief. I want my kids also to remember their school days as the ‘golden days’ of life , just like we do.. isnt it Deeps ??

    D: Absolutely, Rekha. I know how much I cherish those 12 years of my school life. So happy that you’ve found a great school for your daughters. I hope and pray Namnam is blessed with as wonderful a school as I was :).

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  9. I am so glad that the school did the ground work needed to mend RB’s behaviour> I am sure other schools would not have taken such personal care of the kids and there issues.
    Very nice budding relationship!

    D: Oh I so am glad too, Garima! πŸ™‚

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  10. See this is why i tell u ppl to be nice to me..Eventhough i may put mean comments evrywhere,tht doesnt mean u have to hit back at me..u have to be patient with me u see..wht if one day i also change into a good angel like how RB did..Miracles do happen once in a while u know..So until then u have no choice but to endure all of my bullying! 😈

    D: Dai, have you heard of that kahavat, ‘****** ki poonch kabhi seedhi nahi ho sakti’ or to say it in malayalam ‘ *****de vaalu etra neraakkan nokkiyalum adu valanjey irikku’ ? Yep, that best explains your twisted self which can never turn angelic 😈 πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

    PS: Fellow Blogivasi’s I was a good kid once upon a time,but the Indian education system ruined me.So its not my fault u see..the problem lies within the system.
    So ppl be nice to me inorder to become my best fraaand..

    SO WHO WANTS TO BE MY BEST FRIEND?? * πŸ™„ Im waitingg!!

    You can send in ur ‘Brat fraandship’ applications to my Intellectual advisor Yakshi aka Cracking saks
    along with 101 dhs as ‘Dakshina’ and a pair of disco shoes for yakshi to recieve a bonus blessing* from yakshi.
    :mrgreen:
    *Conditions apply
    1)Only shiny blinding shoes will be accepted
    2)Shoes once worn will never be returned
    3)Broom transport charges will be charged for blessings
    4)Additional charges for Facebook requests
    5)The 101 dhs should be sent WONLY to me NOT her!!
    6)Hmmm let me think of a few more conditions..brb

    D: Have to say this whole comment had me in splits…free smileys smilies

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    1. What to do partner? πŸ˜₯ no one cares to see the beautiful heart we have and instead concentrate only on what our bewitched fingers type on their blogs and Fb page πŸ™„

      D: Hoh, oru paavam!! πŸ˜€

      Dai alavalathi chekka you are yet to pay me in shoes for all those brilliant ideas and koodothrams I gave you 😑

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      1. What is koodothrams πŸ™„ Pls to enlighten

        D: Swaram, by koodothram Saksh meant all the wicked ideas she spoon-fed Brat to torture us all ! So you beware,ok?? So you beware of these two devils ok?? πŸ˜›

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  11. Deeps it’s good to hear how the whole thing ended in a positive note and like you said the credit definitely goes to the way the teacher handled it.

    D: I know, Saksh! I was so delighted, you know when everything got settled between the girls :). Of course full credit goes to the teacher πŸ™‚

    Ps: Who dared to take panga with my sweetest Namnu ? 😑 πŸ‘Ώ

    Like

  12. So sweet both the girls became best friends.

    I appreciate a school where there are less students and teacher interaction is more with the kids.I remember my class had 40 students and my teachers used to speak to only those students who are topper in the class and others were ignored.If the kid is not good in studies he will be good in something else and that is not been noticed.Because he/she doesn’t score good marks are ignored.The weak should get help and guidance to study and all kids are not same.

    D: You have a very valid point, Sari πŸ™‚ The teacher-student ratio makes a huge difference. Namnam’s class has about 15-20 students and 2 teachers which makes the interaction between the students and teachers much easier.Teachers can attend to the students easily and they get to be involved more closely to a child’s progress.

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  13. You have found truely a gem school…I havent heard of such school ..taking so much effort to work on child behaviour..Most school adopt easy behaviour…calling parent and giving them responsibilty..
    Namnam is lucky to have such school..

    Cheers to new frenship of RB and namnam..

    D: Aww, thank you, Rash :).

    These days I am also in search of good playschool for angel..though will send her only once she will be 2+…just started early to get more time for research for mission school πŸ™‚

    D: I can understand your anxiety. I’m sure you’ll find a school to your liking where angel will get enough space to bloom with confidence :). Good luck, Rash πŸ™‚

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  14. πŸ™‚ Thought provoking! And very true!
    Oh, btw, I love the name Namnam πŸ˜€

    D: Awww.. thank you, DI :). Namnam will be very happy to know this πŸ™‚

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  15. I so understand… schools play such an important role in a child’s (and parent’s) life. They can so bl**dy easily make or break a kid’s confidence and happiness. So glad your school handled the other kid beautifully

    D: So true, Pals! The school can either break or make a child’s confidence!

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  16. entha kuttiye, swantham blogine paal pooske bada nahi karna hai kya? πŸ™„ Please do login to your blog and reply to comments once in a while ok? :mrgreen:

    D: LOL!! Seriously Saksh the next time we speak I’m going to talk to you in Malayalam..you are so good at it πŸ˜†

    As for replying, arrey I log in to do just that and then I get swayed by updates from other blogs, then I head off to read them and my replying gets stuck :(.

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  17. completely agree with your last lines! πŸ˜€
    A good school is the strong foundation any child needs in her/his life!
    So glad to know that Namnam is now friends with RB πŸ™‚
    Hugs to Namnam and her sweet mumma! πŸ™‚

    D: Aww, thank you Pix, hugs to you too πŸ™‚

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  18. Oh this is is such a special post ..it is so heartening to know school taking so much measure to change RB from ‘bad’ girl to ‘good girl’

    A good school is very important for good fundation ..now that I am searching school for my little one just hoping he would get just the right school too ..quite a daunting task

    D: I know! Can be quite daunting, but I’m sure you will find a good school to your liking for your li’l one πŸ™‚ Good luck, Vandana!

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  19. lucky you got a good school..my niece is 1.4 now and will soon join a play group..we are very much worried about her as she is damn naughty..pata nahi kaha se itni energy aati hai usme πŸ˜›

    D: Ha ha ha.. dont worry, she will be just fine πŸ™‚

    glad that the differences are cleared out now πŸ™‚

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  20. good that things were turned this positive way πŸ™‚ and instead reporting to parents about RB’s behaviour and punishing her teacher made her realize her mistake.. that will help her in life… πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    And surely it would have confirmed that you found the right school for Namnam na πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ great πŸ˜€

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  21. Thats a very good thing to do, from the school’s point of view….thankfully, RB’s parents were either supportive of the school’s decision or they really want their child to become better. But there are many parents, who fail to understand that their child is at fault and declaring such things in front of the child, makes it difficult to mend the child’s ways later.

    Am so glad of Namnam and RB’s frndship…let it continue beautifully. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    Like

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