Putree-vati Bhava!

This is how I wished a friend a couple of days back when she announced her pregnancy to all of her friends. Now, for one I know how much she is yearning for a daughter, so it didnt take me even a second to type ‘Putree-vati Bhava’ on her wall and wish her so :).

Whenever I hear anyone announcing the birth of their daughter- and this year itself quite a few I know, have been blessed with one already :)- what I feel is an immeasurable amount of joy! Why? Because daughters are a blessing! Arent they? Just as much as our sons. They are as much a gift of God as our sons are. They come into our lives with the same look of want and acceptance in their eyes as our sons. Then..

  • why is it that a daughter, a gift of God, is still not an answer to our prayers, while the birth of a son is celebrated and much yearned for?
  • why is it that every time a daughter is born, she is (un)welcomed into this world with a sense of dejection?
  • why is ‘putra-vati bhava’ still considered the greatest blessing a parent could get?
  • why is it that when a daughter is raped, paraded stark naked on the streets, abused or assaulted, SHE is considered a ‘disgrace’ – someone who brings shame to the society and ‘family honor’- as against her perpetrator?
  • why is it that on one side we worship Goddesses while on the other we stoop as low as killing our daughters even before they are born?

When Namnam was born I remember the dejected remarks and looks of people that I had to counter- from the elderly to my prejudiced peers alike- because I had given birth to a girl child . I had had them come to me with a ‘consolatory’ blessing for a son next time around. Why, I have even had beggars come to me and wish me that I’d have a son if I gave them money.

I mean why? Why cant we get over this obsession for sons? Why cant we welcome our daughters with open arms just as well? Why cant we celebrate our daughters just as we celebrate our sons?

Isnt it time that we changed our prejudiced mindset? Let us give our daughters a chance to live and thrive in this world too.

Let this year be the year of daughters. Let them come into this world and grace us all, just as much as our sons. This year and the coming years. So to all those expectant parents out there…a wish coming from a blessed mother of a daughter- putree-vati bhava!

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43 thoughts on “Putree-vati Bhava!

  1. Amen!!!

    When my son was born an acquaintance of my hubby had told me on phone “accha hua tumhara pehli baar main hi tumahara nishaana sahi lag gaya” disgusting no???

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  2. I still get blessings from the so called elders for a son…..Maybe once i get a son all those elders will be there to take care of him,the other day i told one women who said i should go for another issue i asked her if she can finance me and will she take care of the boy (as if that women is sure that i will get a son for sure)

    D: Hahaha, Sari, a good tactic to tell such people off :D!

    PUTREE VATI BHAVA

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  3. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
    Here too, 2 of the ladies are having daughters, and one lady told it in such a dejected manner that I was shocked!! She has a lovely daughter and here she has a chance to have another beautiful daughter and she was feeling dejected!!
    I told her exactly the same thing – “Daughters are a blessing! And you have been blessed twice!”
    While her husband is over the moon to have a second daughter, she didn’t seem too enthusiastic…

    D: Thats the sadder part, Pix…when women themselves endorse such prejudiced views 😦

    Loved your post Deeps!!

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    1. We are two sisters and a brother. And it is told,my father was happy with the two daughters and it was my mother who has made no secret of the fact that she wanted a son, who insisted on a third child in the hope of a son. πŸ™‚ And imagine, this in a community in which girl children are thought to carry forward the family.

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  4. Amen!
    Having given birth to a girl a few months back I could understand every sentiment on this wonderful post.
    I am with you in the belief that indeed daughters are the best gift any parent can get!

    D: Thank you My Era, I’m glad you understand, because its when I see mothers like you celebrating and cherishing every moment of their daughters’ life that I realize that times may be changing for the better for our daughters after all πŸ™‚

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  5. Deep when bonita was born i asked the doctor how baby was and they all looked at each other and told me ( very sympathetically) don’t worry you will have son next time..and then with a sad face they gave my baby to my mom and mom-in- law and were shocked to see them celebrate hugely i must add…just imagine doctors feeling sad for me when i clearly wasnt even asking for the gender just wanted to know if baby was ok..

    D: Gosh, Soma, that is so disturbing to hear about doctors harboring such regressive views! 😦 Shouldnt they be advising others to value each and every life, irrespective of the gender? So glad that you all chose to disregard their narrow mindsets and celebrate Bonita instead. Hugs to her..she is a sweetheart! πŸ™‚

    this article was much needed….
    Hugs to Namnam please do tell her i just love her and her name πŸ™‚

    D: Aww, will do πŸ™‚

    Yup Yay to Putri-Vati Bhava πŸ™‚

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  6. I may be wrong but things are changing.. I know for a fact that my dad was more happy when my sister was born. no wonder he loved her more then me πŸ™‚

    D: I do hope things are changing for the better, Bik:)

    I would prefer to say Happy-Child-Vati Bhava πŸ™‚

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  7. Amen to that, Deeps!

    ‘Let this year be the year of daughters. Let them come into this world and grace us all, just as much as our sons. This year and the coming years. So to all those expectant parents out there…a wish coming from a blessed mother of a daughter- putree-vati bhava!’

    That is exactly my sentiments! You know how much I agree with this, don’t you πŸ™‚ Hugs – loved, loved, loved this post!

    D: I do I do, Smits :). (((Hugs))) πŸ™‚

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  8. Slow and steady but things are changing Deeps… We now have parents who love their daughters as much as soon their son…

    D: I hope it stays that way, Tanishka πŸ™‚

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  9. I loved what you said Deeps and trust me I yearn for a daughter too … esp after Tamanna all the more. But then there’s a slight sense of discomfort in me when i say people praying for daughters just so that they can prove that they don’t believe in any superior sex theory .. for me a child is a child desirous n coveted for irrespective of the peek at the genitals … n yes though i said I crave a daughter … but then there are days I wish that my progeny also has the goofiness of the Mistah in a little boy …
    All am saying that as long as cravings are pure they make sense, let’s not desire anything to prove a point … esp when it’s a bundle of joy .. what difference does blue or pink make?
    I hope am not misunderstood, for more clarity I remember writing about the same here –
    http://shagortales.com/2011/12/12/oh-i-want-a-little-baby-girl/

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    1. Of course not, Sags, its not about proving a point..as you said a child is a bundle of joy, irrespective of the gender. All I am urging people to do is to include daughters in their prayers too just as they would pray for sons. They deserve to live too, they deserve to make choices, they deserve to be happy. You know it hurts me, pains me when daughters are viewed as ‘unwanted’ or a bojh/burden, when they are made to feel guilty for being born a girl! So high time we changed our mindsets and started welcoming daughters into our lives too πŸ™‚

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      1. Absolutely Deeps, I completely agree with you on that. But it irks me when they say Aishwarya should be made Ambassador for Girl Child in India because she bore one! :/ Infact I want a mother of a son to be that, because if girls are to be respected teach your boys how they should be viewed! πŸ™‚

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        1. Just read your post and got to know about Shobha Dey’s suggestion about making Aishwarya the ambassador for girl child because she gave birth to a girl..ridiculous to say the least!
          “Infact I want a mother of a son to be that, because if girls are to be respected teach your boys how they should be viewed!” Couldnt agree with you more, Sags!

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  10. Yes. Our society is still to grow mature on this front.
    I have even had Eunuchs cursing me for having told them my wish to have a daughter instead of a son right in front of a Durga temple. Ain’t that funny?
    There were pandits and the predicting-aunts who assured my Mother-in-Law that my second one will be a son. And here I was the happiest person when Love (my 2nd daughter) proved all of them wrong. I would say, she’s a girl who, if not ahead of boys, is no less than them. Our daughters are our pride and we’re blessed to have them.

    Rekha

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  11. Beautiful post Deeps. I so wanted a daughter. I stopped talking about that when I realised my repeating that was inadvertently giving my sons a complex πŸ™‚

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  12. Amen to that!

    I am an the only child of my parents, and have had to hear many such taunts by ‘well-meaning’ people. I tell people that my husband and I yearn for a girl child, and we get weird looks! Well, what’s wrong with that?!

    I am sick and tired of this ‘Putra-vati bhava’ nonsense, too. I hope the society sees sense soon.

    A girl is as much a blessing of God and a beautiful part of your life as a son is. I hope to be able to bring up my child, irrespective of whether it is a girl or a boy, to be an independent, honest and capable person.

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  13. Hi,

    My first here. I am reminded of my conversations with friends as to how we’d go for a adopting a baby girl if we have a baby boy.
    Very very fortunately or otherwise, I have a family full of boys and every newly married couple in the family is always craving for a girl πŸ™‚

    I guess I’d just give it to them if I encountered such a situation. And the fact that people pretty much blame the woman without even knowing how genes work. Not that it would make a difference. But still.

    Boy or girl, I’d just be grateful for the precious life, by God’s Grace!!!!!!!!!!!

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    1. Welcome here Kismitoffeebar :). Firstly I love your name..you remind me of those days when I used to munch endlessly on those kismi toffees..been ages since I have had one!

      And yes a child is precious, boy or girl πŸ™‚

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  14. Your wish came true for me too πŸ˜€ Yea i see no difference, they are kids and both are just as special. Sons or daughters – they make u parents. what difference does it make as long as u are one whether you rear a son or a daughter?

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  15. I’ve been wanting to write so much on this post…so much! But have no proper time to coherently put my thoughts in place here 😦

    but I shall come back and with nicer longer comment like always πŸ˜‰

    as for now: Super Duper liked this post πŸ™‚

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  16. Good. We should bless ‘putree vatee bhava’ to all like you, Deeps. Even the current youngsters comment about having a son! This nature of ours has reduced the girl:boy ratio. Boys are not getting enough girls for marriage. The most funny thing is mostly women/girls bless/want sons! They don’t like themselves, I think.

    Very nice post, Deeps. I loved the questions you have raised.

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  17. Lovely post Deeps and a lovelier blessing. I hope your friend is blessed with a daughter as she has been yearning for one… Children always bring happiness into the house in their very own, adorable style. People who are still burdened with such boy/girl prejudices do not know what they are missing out on.

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