Whats your honking style?

**Blabber post**

Ok, now being someone who is born and brought up in a place like Delhi honks have been an integral part of my life. Even before I learnt how to drive on Delhi roads I learnt to appreciate( or not) a the horns of the raging Blue-line buses and the snooty auto-rickshaws and the impish Marutis. Why, I have been honked at by even the cycle-rickshaws. Boy what attitude! What music to the ears with so many horns all around you as soon as you stepped out of the house! How could they not be a part of your life?

And then when I started driving, oh boy what a field I had by honking at all and sundry! I used to honk at even those cows spread royally in the middle of the road as though they were in a garden! Even those dogs and cats loitering around waiting for their mates had to be urged- by way of my honks, of course- to find a cozier place to breed!

Anyway in the last 9 years or so that I have been in the Middle East, a no-honk zone, I have been so spoilt with the organized driving and peaceful silence that now when I go home the jarring sounds of the horns blaring into my ears cringe me.

Having said that, the reckless and rash driving that I have been observing in Doha roads lately makes me wonder if my love for honks may get rekindled after-all! Oh you have to hear the different kinds of honks that I blow these days to believe me!

Honk #1– When you are driving at a speed of 100km/h and all of a sudden a pedestrian sprints across you just about getting away from coming under your car, you screech out a ‘Nooooooo’ with your honk! Trust me you’ll come across a lot of such such irresponsible morons here!

Honk #2– When a measly-looking vehicle is attempting to sneak in between you and the car in front in an already stifling traffic jam, you honk to say,’ Dont even think about it!’ FYI the message can be better conveyed when the honk is administered in broad daylight coupled with your piercing stare shooting right through his glass-shield!

Honk #3– is used when the role reverses. I mean, when your car is the measly-looking vehicle attempting to join a stretch of cars(read the Land cruisers, Patrols and the ilk). This time you meekly honk and give the sanest smile on earth to say,’ Please let me go..please please, or else I will cry and tell my mom that you’re not letting me go…waaaaa, waaaa!’

Honk #4– When you are enjoying the drive on a reasonably empty road listening to your favorite song and just when you are turning right, out comes this car from nowhere and zooms past you from the wrong end, as though in a terrible urge to relieve himself! Thats when you blow the dynamite of a honk shooting the nastiest curses that you can think of,’ @##$%%$#$…you douche-bag..teri toh mai!’

Honk #5– This one is a harmless one. When you spot a friend or an acquaintance on your way, this honk simply conveys,’ Hi there! whats up?’

Honk #6– But if, instead of reaching your friend(mentioned in #5), it reaches the ears of the vehicle in front of you, it can be misconstrued as,’ Hey there, move faster, you tortoise’! Which can attract variety of expressions and sign-lingos from the tortoise BTW. He/she may give you a taste of your own medicine by way of the piercing stare from his/her rear-view mirror which can shoot through YOUR glass-shield this time or or he may raise his hand in a dancing-mudra like this

which loosely conveys,’ Whats your problem? 😑 😑 ‘

OR he/she may just shoot the dynamite honk #4 at you!

Honk #7– is administered when there is a monster-trailer on road and you want to get past it. Most of these trailers are usually well in their lanes and rarely bully you. But their very enormity is so intimidating that you cower. Thats when you plead with them by way of this honk which says, ‘ Hey truckaasur! Please dont crush me! Please please please! Have mercy!’

Honk #8– This is R’s favourite! This is a ‘just like that’ honk! Literally. He uses it for the love of using it! Just like that. A Delhi-ite to the core! He honks when he takes the car out of the garage. And then honks again while waiting for the gate of the compound to open. He honks when he sees a car speeding off … on the opposite side of the road! :roll:. And of course he makes use of all the honk-categories that I mentioned above, during the course of his drive. And honks even when on a long drive with not a vehicle in close-shave quarter…just to spite me 😑 ! He goes ‘honk’ and gives me a sheepish smile to say ‘just like that’ 😐 Aargh!

Did I just say my love for honks was rekindling? Or not? πŸ˜€

So what did you honk today?

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37 thoughts on “Whats your honking style?

  1. πŸ™‚ That was super funny, Deeps πŸ™‚
    It reminds me that I seem to have forgotten how to honk here πŸ™‚ Even when some idiotic driver does something, I forget to honk! Can you believe that! I will have to relearn honking once I am back πŸ™‚

    You know, when Amma and achan came here, she used to watch people drive, and then asked in puzzlement, none of them honk! How do people here drive?

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    1. Hahaha, I can imagine the wonderment in Uncle-aunty’s words, Smits! 9 years back, when we moved to the ME, It took me a while to adjust too to the honk-less surrounding πŸ™‚

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  2. No honks here tooo.. But but but I have a big horn on my car one of tgose big lorry ones and it scares the living daylight if I use it. Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnmmmmnnmnnnnnn

    I use it rarely I know I am evil you said it earlier toooo he he he

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  3. I was smiling all through the post πŸ˜€
    I looooooove honking but I hate it when somebody else does it on me πŸ˜‰
    When I was in Ahmedabad I n my BFF used go out for drive and this girl would never use the horn even when there was somebody in front of her and you know what I used to do? I used to press the horn and she would be so irritated I tell you!!!! Ah! What fun it used to be!!
    But you know I hate morons who blow horn in a subway, I feel like getting out of my vehicle knocking on their door and ask, ‘what do you think I shud fly over the other car?”

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    1. “β€˜what do you think I shud fly over the other car?”” LOL..thats exactly what my husband says too when he gets honked at from behind, when there is a pile of cars in front of him yet to move! πŸ˜€

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  4. πŸ˜† πŸ˜† what did you eat today eh? such a funny post from you πŸ˜‰

    I don’t honk because I got into the “do not honk” habit while in Boston. But it’s a total different game here in California where people will honk even at a car sitting idly in its own parking lot πŸ™„ But somehow I am yet to honk but am always ready with those mudras you have shown…bahh how I hate when people honk for no reason i swear! 😑

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  5. lol what a fun post Deeps
    having said tha want to shout oout loud-
    hey honk haters..have you not heard the nursery rhyme if you are happy and you know it honk honk honk….
    people honk only cos they still believe people in front of them will either dissapear or evaporate and make way for them..poor dreamers

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    1. “people honk only cos they still believe people in front of them will either dissapear or evaporate and make way for them..poor dreamers” Hahaha!

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    1. You missed one though. The one where a sharp heavy honk comes…and you turn around expecting a truck or a van…..and there comes a small bike or a rick feeling proud of having installed a heavy sounding horn :mrgreen: πŸ˜›

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  6. Can I laugh out real loud? πŸ˜€ This was a super post! And I can cite examples (or rather episodes) where I have come across so many of the categories you mentioned. Delhi is a honker’s delight. πŸ˜€

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  7. This was such a funny post–I was giggling all the way. Loved the Whats-your- problem dance mudra πŸ˜€
    And hey, you’re based in Doha? One of my very dear friends from school is in Doha too!

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  8. LOl! How much effort has gone into putting all that honking into words Deeps πŸ˜› Soooper!

    Personally, I honk very less and hate those honkers too πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰

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  9. Honk#9 – its an empty road n its your fav song being played o the radio n suddely u started honking to match with the tune of the song… πŸ˜€
    Yess I’ am guilty of doing it, but what to do, music does it to me…

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  10. Superb post Deeps πŸ˜€
    I too am slowly getting back to honking after a long break of no-honking driving…it was quite annoying initially, but I am getting in the honking groove slowly πŸ˜€

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  11. Hahhaahaaaaa….soooper funny post!!!! Identified with all the honks but liked the Honk #8 very much. Chumma….just like tht πŸ˜€
    U knw honk #8 reminds me of the year 2000 here in Dubai…..when the year gave way from 1999 to 2000 exactly at midnight…..one guy started it and soon the whole street and the next and the next was filled with continuous honking……everybody were so excited, cannot forget tht one :-).

    p.s: Honk #3 was tooo good πŸ˜€

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