One month on…

..since the gruesome incident in Delhi that shook us all from within, has anything changed?

Well, going by the stats, nothing much..

Every day there are more and more such incidents of brutality being reported causing us all grave concerns and making us wonder if ever there will be a time when our women would feel safer and freer in this world.

We are still as angry, as seething, as outraged as ever.

There still are morons amongst us who shamelessly showcase their narrow mindsets by uttering innuendos like, ‘she asked for it’, or ‘she should not have ventured out so late in the night’, or ‘rapes are on the rise because men and women are interacting with each other more frequently’ or ‘girls should stop wearing jeans, skirts or anything that is remotely western’, ‘girls must wear over-coats in order to avoid getting raped’!!!

What blows me off further and makes me cringe with disgust is when I hear people say that the 23 year old girl should have given up fighting while the rapists were ripping her apart since they were far stronger than her. “She should have just laid there and enjoyed the ride” was what an acquaintance had to say while we had a discussion on the incident. How pathetically sickening is that mindset!

Its a shame that even in today’s day and age we get to hear of our ministers blaming the ‘adverse positions of the stars’ for the crimes against women! Or those spiritual-gurus who believe that women could ‘save’ themselves if they addressed the rapists as ‘bhaiyya’ and plead for mercy..or those illusional sadhus who impart the message that chanting a few mantras would keep the rapists and the probable danger of getting raped at bay!

Here when the need of the hour is to impart the right kind of education to our children and creating more awareness in them about safety and self-defense, we are being urged to let our beliefs be governed by such regressive ideas like chanting mantras and getting our stars re-positioned et al? Are we in the 21st century still?

We still seem to be as helpless as ever.

The protests to bring about more stringent laws, the cries to treat our women with more respect and be more sensitive..havent any of this moved us in any which way to enable us to change the way we think or behave?

Well, I do see a small gleam of hope..

For one, the very fact that we are still talking about it, writing about it is a sign of change. It still is a major major talking point in my house, among our friends and family. So much so that I was surprised to see one of my friends’ 12 year old taking part in the conversation and putting her thoughts across. To my eyes, it was a good sign that our youngsters were as affected, aware and concerned too.

More and more of us are awakening to the fact that we cannot let the pressing issues of safety of women be swept under the carpet anymore. We are taking our right to question the authorities and demand answers from them more seriously which is evident in the way committees are being set up by the government to expedite the case, more policemen are being put on the roads.

More and more incidents are being reported which again a good sign because, while its extremely distressing that these incidents are still rampant, what is also noteworthy is that THESE ARE BEING REPORTED.

Yes, we need to move on, as I keep hearing from people. Life is about moving on, yes..but it does not have to be about forgetting, does it? Let us not forget what the 23 year old brave girl went through on that fateful night. Let us not forget how brutal those 6 rapists were. Let us not, for a second, forget how terribly weak we as her fellow beings, were when we just stood there as meek spectators while she and her friend lay on the road naked, mercilessly battered and bruised. Let us not forget that the one desire she had all the while fighting to stay alive was to see her perpetrators being punished.

Let us not forget that we are now beyond that stage where we could be complacent enough to think ‘such things would never happen to us’.

So yes, let us move on.. but with a purpose. The purpose to keep talking about these issues. To stop being weak. To keep demanding accountability from (ir)responsible politicians and authorities. To keep talking to our kids. To keep listening to them, to keep hearing their concerns for we never what they may have to tell us. To start teaching our boys to respect our girls, to keep telling our girls to command that respect. To keep teaching them to say NO to bullying, eve-teasing or any form of abuse. To keep encouraging our girls to defend themselves, get them to learn some form of self-defense. To keep demanding for more stringent law-enforcements, to start promising ourselves that we will speak up, raise our voices and reach out to help, even if the person in trouble is someone we may/not know.

I realize that I am parroting what has already been said, what is already being said. But I still do, because the way I see it, the more you talk about it, the more it will stay in your memory, the more you feel agitated, driven to change your own mindset, compel other around you to change their own.

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17 thoughts on “One month on…

  1. And some sti’ll harp on how great the nation is doing..and how much it has developed..sorry but to me what use is all this if we can’t even provide security to our own people. .

    Nothing has changed I read two more incidents today one in goa and one somewhere else..

    Till we the people change nothing will change

    D: Absolutely right! The change has to come from us first.

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  2. I’ve been ranting and venting alternately about this issue on various blogs. Yes, I agree that social mindset has to change but equally important or more, actually is the need for a stringent legal and police system. If the judiciary and police get cracking, half of India’s problems would be minimized.

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  3. its good we are talking. Talking helps.. changing mindsets help…
    now, if only our police took the hint and started talking more positively and acting more positively against these crimes!!

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  4. Di, I was hoping that with this incident and the public outrage post that would bring on some changes. But what I have seen is that our so called (ir)responsible politicians and authorities and media all have their own ways of making people get distracted pretty fast. Once the outrage started and they knew it’s not gonna end on it’s own, they started making news of controversial statements by the so-called protectors of the country and god men and women (I feel ashamed to be called as a women now). Even when that didn’t stop the protesters, they brought in statements by the girl’s father blaming her friend for not saving her. Just after that, the entire focus got shifted to the beheading of the soldier (his family too is not going to get any justice.

    I feel sorry to say, but I have no hopes from the present set of people governing the nation. In fact, I sometimes feel, if they have actually managed to arrest the culprits or not and if yes, are they the real culprits or it was just an eyewash to save face. I had always been telling my friends that out of all the places I have been, India happens to be the best. But this time I am extremely disappointed and have no words to explain how I feel. I really feel some kind of miracle has to happen and we must be able to make some serious changes to the way our nation is governed.

    We feel bad about the racial discrimination we are subjected to in foreign countries and international flights. But is it not us to blamed for that too? The entire world is aware that our women and children are not safe in our own country. Then how are we expecting other nations not to harm our people.

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    1. I hear you, Rekha. I understand how frustrating it is. But I am glad to see us all up in arms, driven to get the system in order, demand more accountability from our leaders, conscious effort to change our own mindsets. Now I can only hope that this drive never fizzles out.

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  5. Deeps,
    I completely agree with you that the issue has to be kept alive. I think this case was a landmark in the sense that the issue came to the forefront with a large impact.
    Let’s hope that laws will be mended in the parliament and the people of the nation will grow a spine. This will not happen in a second but we have to make a start.

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  6. “She should have just laid there and enjoyed the ride” was what an acquaintances had to say
    OMG!! 😯 Did somebody actually say that??

    I was just talking to my husband and mentioning the same thing. Now the media seems to have reduced focus on this. Suddenly there is the cold weather in Delhi to deal with, then the Indo-Pak issues. The focus has shifted elsewhere. 😦

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    1. Oh I so hope this issue doesn’t get ignored, Ash! For the first time I can feel the genuine drive in all of us that is required to bring women’s safety and freedom to the forefront and truly get the authorities to act…

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  7. // “She should have just laid there and enjoyed the ride” //
    I can’t believe somebody actually said this. This is so utterly revolting. Just how sick can people get 😦
    I completely agree with you on the need to keep the issue alive. We as a society have a tendency to ‘move on’ and the media knows this only too well. They know instinctively when the public consciousness is ready to move on to something else and are only too willing to oblige.

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    1. I couldnt believe it myself that someone could say that! Was disgusting!

      As for the media, with the way the incident and the subsequent outrage of the entire nation was being covered, I had genuinely started believing that we’d finally get to see some responsible journalism from now on. Alas, it looks its drifting back to its old ways 😦

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  8. The judgments / statements given by people on this issue are simply ridiculous and this speaks volumes about the regressive mindsets they have and the kind of society we live in!! Wish the rapists get the most harshest of the punishment, and our society moves towards more awakening and gender sensitivity!

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