The answer..

is Rs 1000.

Congratulations Scribblehappy, DI and Jayadev for getting it right! *Clap clap* πŸ™‚

A big thanks to all those who attempted to answer my brain-teasing question here. You all have been a sport!

Now the explanation for the answer :

The 2nd shopkeeper gave Rs. 1000 to the 1st shopkeeper and took it back since he was given a fake note. So that transaction is null and void.

The 1st shopkeeper ended up giving goods worth Rs. 800 to the lady and also gave Rs. 200 as change.

So the loss incurred would be Rs 1000.

Ok, now your turn to ask a riddle.. πŸ˜€

Has it happened to you…

~ That you lay your hands on a book you had been waiting to pick up, start reading it rightaway…few pages through, you get bored and leave the book as it is, unfinished? And one fine day, after many months, an intense craving to read grows inside you and you pull out the same book from your shelf, to read. This time, but, you are hooked?

~ That you walk past your neighbour’s house and find her garden so fully bloomed with flowers and greenery that you feel this terrible urge to run to the nursery to get some plants for your own garden?

~ That a singer, a practical stranger to you, touches you with her outstanding singing, virtually transporting you to a different world in such a way that tears start rolling down your eyes?

~ That you set out to the kitchen to get a spoon, on the way find a newspaper lying on the floor, pick it up, keep it on the table in its designated place, check your mobile to know what’s trending on FB, reach the kitchen and BAM you forget what you had come there for? Was it moon? Oh yeah, spoon! Argh!

~ That you drive through a busy rumble of traffic and all of a sudden this moron just cuts in from your side to go ahead and you let out an exasperated, ‘What the hell!’…just then your daughter springs up from the back seat to ask you admonishingly, ‘Did you just say “what the hell”, Amma?’ :-/

~ That you talk about your ‘Man Friday’ going on a cleaning spree around every nook and corner of the house and your brother thinks you’re referring to your husband, when you actually meant your domestic help? πŸ˜›

~ That you step of the house to go to the doc and half way through you realize that you have forgotten to carry your purse?? 😯

~ That you come face to face with a person whom you have met a couple of times, even interacted with once or twice, and who has done no harm to you whatsoever, yet, each time you see the person you sense a strong negative vibe?

~ That, while waiting at the traffic signal, you get so engrossed in ‘What’s App’-ing that you dont realize that the signal has turned green and all the vehicles in front of you have gone? And when you do look up, you see this big empty gap between your car and the stretch-end making you dawn on the fact that you have actually missed a whole cycle of the signal from red to green, all the while tapping into your phone and you’re now stuck back at red?!

****You say a meekly thanks to God for not sending any vehicles behind you to curse and swear honk at you furiously, keep your phone aside and slowly move on, fixing your eyes intently on the signal waiting to go green.****

A brain-teaser for you..

With so many challenges going on around the blogosphere, I thought I would also throw one at you all πŸ™‚

Not exactly a challenge, its more of a riddle. So here it goes..

A lady goes to a shop and shops for Rs. 800. She hands over a 1000 rupee note to the shop keeper. Since, the shopkeeper does not have change, he goes to another shop keeper and gets change for Rs. 1000. He hands over Rs. 200 as balance to the lady. She walks off.

Later, the 2nd shopkeeper comes to the first and demands his Rs. 1000 back as the 1000 rupee note was fake.

What was the total loss incurred by 1st shopkeeper?

Have fun racking your brains! πŸ˜€

**The Comment moderation on till Wednesday the 26th. The answer shall be revealed then πŸ™‚

Competitive, to be or not to be!

*Yet another long post, looking for answers*

Frankly I dont know how to address this. This is something that has been gnawing at me for quite a while. A bit too much lately.

Namnam has been a girl who has never cared much about winning or staying ahead of her peers and I have been a mother, I admit, who has never really tried to change this attitude of hers. It has largely taken form because she has always been told to simply care more about giving her best and being satisfied with her own performance than worrying about performing better or worse than other children. Thus she has been in a very secure zone without cowing under any kind of performance pressure.

Yes there have been times when she has not been able to give her best, but she has never let that bother her much. In fact there have been quite a few times when her friends have surged past her, and she has genuinely felt happy for them. At such occassions, she has focused more on bettering herself the next time than whining about not scoring over her friends. And it makes me immensely happy when I see her so secure about herself. Because I have seen many children taking rejections in a very negative manner. In fact at times when Namnam has performed better than her peers, I have seen them bawling their lungs out, making a big hue and cry out of it making my child wonder if she had done anything wrong by faring well!

Now as her mother I too have not given ‘being one step ahead of others’ much importance. As long she gives her best in whatever she does and comes home completely happy and satisfied I haven’t felt the need to fret about who performed better or worse than her. Winner or not, I’m proud of her, have always been, will always be.

Two days ago, I met up with some friends and while talking, our discussion moved towards the common topic of letting our kids participate in events and competitions. And one of my friends just casually mentioned that she had stopped enrolling her daughter for competitions for the simple reason that she didn’t win any prizes in any of the events!

Which made me wonder if it was really so important to win! I mean, isn’t taking part in a competition or any event, in itself a reason enough to let your child participate?

I understand the whole grind of assembling things required to prepare your child for the event, not to forget the time and energy invested in it is not an easy task and it can be disappointing when the efforts do not yield desired results. But to look at the flip side, the participation could give your child more exposure, gain him/her more confidence in him/herself, teach him/her to face rejection and emerge stronger.

This is the reason why I avoid getting worked up over how well Namnam performs, be it in school or elsewhere. And when I see Namnam confident and secure about her own capabilities, I find it all the more easier to handle.

But….

(Sigh, if only there weren’t any ‘ifs and buts’, life would be so much more sorted!)

But, lately I have been sensing that this attitude of hers might be making her lax, making her lose the will to perform or even win for that matter.

Recently while driving back home after Namnam’s swimming class, R and I pointed out how she had to improve further on her kicks and get better at her speed, to which she immediately replied, “Oh but P is anyway always faster than me!”. This reaction of hers gave us a jolt, making us realize that she was resigning herself to a state of being lesser than her batch mate. Which made us wonder if she was showing signs of giving up on herself.

Now I have no qualms in accepting that P may be better than my child. I know that every child is different, his/her strengths are different, capabilities are different. So if P fares better than Namnam, then it is also true that Namnam is better than A, K or B. What worries me however is when I see her devaluing herself and this when she knows that she is capable of far more than her peer.

Today, like most of the days I am confused as a parent. My mind is swaying in dilemma. Does the answer to my concerns really lie in teaching my child to be more competitive? Be more aggressive? How do I get her to value herself? Do I now start telling her that winning IS important?

Yes. I think I need to do just that.

No I don’t want to instill in my child the obsession to win at any cost! No! But I also don’t want her to think any less of herself than her peers, which may eventually give way to low self esteem. So I need to tell her to change the way she thinks..

I need to tell her to stop believing that A, P, or K can fare better than her and start believing that she can.

I need to tell her not to give up on herself.

I need to tell her to learn to face dejection and then focus on succeeding the next time.

I need to tell her that every time she thinks low of herself, her actions and performances will be that much slower.
But each time she believes in her abilities, she will be driven to give her best that much more!

I need to tell her to change the way she thinks.

Look at me! On one side I am chiding a friend’s for her overtly competitive streak and on the other I am talking about instilling the very streak in my child.

Is the mind any more sound now?

No..

My mind is still full of conflicting thoughts, still incoherent…

Did anyone say parenting was easy?