The week where I learned to let go..

It’s not often that I get overly affected by people who disappoint me by their actions or inactions. Yes I do get hurt by people, but I dont let my mind brood over them for long. I move on. But when the people in question are those whom I consider close to me, then I feel terribly let down. Let down by the people I felt close to. Let down by my own feelings that put them in such high regard. Then again, I don’t like it one bit when the negativity inside me begins to fester. Which is why I make peace with them soon enough, either by reaching out to them or giving in when they reach out. No, I don’t confront them either or seek explanations for their actions. I know by saying this I may not be projecting a very strong trait. Call me weak or cowardly, but the fact is that I try as much as possible to avoid confrontations.

Confrontations make me uncomfortable. So when someone says/does something hurtful to me, I walk away or just keep quiet and ignore the person. If the person is an acquaintance or someone I barely know then I stop acknowledging his/her existence entirely. This is my way of moving on.

But if someone close to me hurts me through their words or actions, then obviously I feel the stab but something holds me back from cutting the person off. Then I just lie low and stop interacting with the person till I have made peace with the situation.

Lately I have been sensing some disappointing vibes from people I felt close to. The very process of getting hurt, feeling bad, being taken for granted, harbouring negative thoughts has been pulling me in.

The week gone by made me take a step back and introspect. It made me wonder why it was that people did what they did, why it was that I got affected by what they did. Did they even know that I was hurt? Was I taking them a bit too seriously, when I didn’t need to? In all probability, for them, I may not be as close a friend of theirs as I believe I am. In which case was it not best to let go of whatever binding I might have felt? Pondering further, I felt that I was probably wrong in giving so much of importance and thought to people who didn’t deserve that attention from me.

The week gave me some wonderful moments with people who mattered to me and that truly made me realize that it was THEM and those happy moments that I should be giving more importance to.

As I write this post now, I am telling myself to accept that that some relationships may not necessarily command the same level of sincerity that you expect. Which is why it is best to let go of them, of your notions.

To quote Hermann Hesse

Some of us think holding on makes us strong but sometimes it is letting go

Thank you Corinne..your post gave me the much needed push to organize my thoughts more clearly!

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42 thoughts on “The week where I learned to let go..

  1. Hugs Deeps! What you say makes so much sense, and yet, when something like this happens, I still feel bad… I should take a print out of this and put it in a place where I can read it, everytime I feel like this.

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  2. “The week gave me some wonderful moments with people who mattered to me and that truly made me realize that it was THEM and those happy moments that I should be giving more importance to”

    So very true. I suppose we all need this periodic reminder πŸ™‚

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  3. Deeps, I can so relate to what you have written, like you I also used to hate confrontations and avoid them, then life taught me that sometimes however much we want to avoid they become inevitable at some point or the other, but it surely leaves a bitter taste. I wish for you, that you would have to never taste it..

    Hugs to you… take care..

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  4. Beautiful post, Deepti!
    After a certain point , it just is not worth your trouble and time , trying to keep things going, however close we might think the person in question is.
    After some really hard knocks, I have learnt to let go, and to go with what makes me, as a person, happy. And, what a change it has made to my life, the peace that it gives you is priceless!
    Glad for you!

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  5. Confrontations are a No No for me too Di. And trust me I behave exactly in the same manner as you do when I’m hurt. But then it indeed is bettee to move on. My recent experience with a very close friend is what has made me learn to ket go and move on. It helps us heal and makes us stronger. A Big Hug to you…Cheer up! πŸ™‚

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  6. You have written this for me, Deeps!! I am going through exactly the same, right now!
    For a few days, I was very much disturbed and the thoughts of ‘Why me’ clouded my mind till I decided to forget and forgive. It was not easy to practice but it is possible and felt much better and at peace. Glad you decided to let go too! Hugs πŸ™‚

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  7. You sound so like me and ur situation seemed so much like one i faced a week back.. yea letting go is the most restful way..
    i wish there was an outright walk out but then we have relationships that are tied to us for eternity 😦

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  8. Its so true what you have written…getting disappointed by someone we deemed important is really painful..good that you found out people who cherish you and make you happy

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  9. Hugs Deeps! I know what you mean.. I am learning slowly too.. to not take things personally. To step back and walk away. Its hard.. but with practice, it gets easier.

    Hugs!

    Cory gives that push when we need it!

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  10. Confrontations are a no no. So very true. Things just amuse me these days. I am praying to God that it stays that way. It is good to have a set of people who make you realise that it is only they who actually matter. πŸ™‚ In short. Well said. I really do understand and have gone through what is mentioned in Corinne’s post and yours too. Hugs to you dear. Keep smiling. πŸ™‚

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  11. Hope u r feeling better now Deeps….all through life we go thru kash ma kash I tell u :-(. Just when we think we’ve got it all under control our kids will come with the same problems….we’ll try to help them by advising but it will never make a difference until they go thru it. So okay I digressed a bit here πŸ˜›

    The one thing I’ve realised is that no relationship is equal. In some we are giving more and in others we are taking….with some friends we listen more and with others we are the ones talking non-stop…u knw wht I mean. So once we get that funda right it gets easier to make peace…atleast thats how I look at it:-)).

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  12. I loved how you concluded it Deeps. It is true tha in moments of hurt, we don’t easily realize but on introspection, somehow it all begins to make sense. As long as you have given your best, just rest πŸ™‚
    There are too many wonderful people out there to love and care for . Sometimes it works, sometiems it doesn’t. Hugs! Hope you are feeling better now πŸ™‚

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  13. I hope you are better now. It is hurtful when people say or do nasty things. But I guess it is hardly under our control. Only our reaction is what we can dictate. It is okay to grieve for a while and then set it aside and move on.

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    1. Hey, sorry again! Had to fish out your comment from the spam folder..again! Wonder how I can fix this glitch that keeps sending your comment to the spam 😦

      I’m fine now, Rachna, thank you :). I completely agree with you..we cannot control on how others behave with us, but how we react to them is certainly in our control..

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  14. Its sad when we have to let go certain people as they just make us miserable. But guess life is all about good and bad. Keep closer our dear ones and we’ll feel so loved.

    And if you want to plot any evil plans for them just ping me… we’ll give them the best one they ever had πŸ˜‰

    Hugs to my neighbour πŸ™‚ ❀

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