Can girls really be friends?

I was reading an article in one of the magazines wherein this question was posed.The article was presented as a debate and two women had contributed with their own differing opinions with a ‘Yes’ and a ‘No’. After reading it,I thought it would be interesting to ask myself the same question.

I went to a co-ed school which means,I’ve been fortunate enough to form some wonderful friendships with both boys and girls over the years. And I cherish all of them. But I’ve always been closer to my girl-friends, because they understand me better.

I believe that there are certain things that you can discuss and experience only with your girlfriends…be it having endless discussions about your crushes. Or be it experiencing a state of Nirvana(well,almost! ) by ogling at handsome hunks, or be it simply heading out for a walk just to feel kicked up about being ogled at !! Or be it sharing the misery of your wretched menstrual cramps and empathizing with each other. Or better still, be it going on a shopping spree, picking the trendiest of clothes,parading in front of the mirrors together and boosting each other’s egos !!

Courtesy Google Images

I doubt if, even discussing these things with boys would be half as fun. Leave aside,experiencing !

I know, gossiping,bitching,back-stabbing,mud-slinging, and the likes are some of the other things attributed to us. Yes,many a time,they can spoil a friendship. But,in defense of the sisterhood, men gossip too,don’t they? They may probably have a different name to it…a heart-to-heart talk ,a frank opinion or whatever. Basically they too have disagreements among each other. And sometimes it can even reach a stage where they wont shirk from taking out their cycle-chains,hockey-sticks or baseball-bats to thrash each other to oblivion.

At least we’re not that harmful . I can proudly say that. All we do is indulge in some harmless gossiping or some verbal-spats,if things get out of hands or at times, if we are really good with words,blog about it and kick it out of our system ;). And the rest of us,who are not so good at it,just ignore. Thats it.

That will certainly not mean I’ll stop making friends with girls. I will because I know we are fun to be with despite our hiccups.

So,if I ask myself ‘Can girls really be friends?’. My answer is ‘yes,of course’.

Ok,now before our men from Mars come out in unison to thrash me,let me just go back to the safe cocoon of my planet Venus 😀

A toast to friendship

Friendship is one aspect that has many connotations.We have all been blessed with friends we have cherished for life.Some are we have grown up with,friends from our localities.Some,we made while in school and college.Some,at our workplaces. Many of us have even met people while traveling in a bus,a train or even an airplane and those interactions have bloomed into lasting friendships.

Whoever said we need to meet to become friends?Some of us have even formed life long friendships merely by writing letters to each other or by acquainting ourselves over telephone.How can I not mention,in this context,the arena called ‘Blogosphere’ wherein we keep discovering new friends by way of connecting through words.Yes,Indyeah and Solilo’s friendship is a classic example. They live in two different parts of the world,haven’t met each other even once(at least thats what I gather from their posts & interactions…Abhi,Sols,correct me if I’m wrong)and yet they are the best of friends.And I’m sure there are many such everlasting friendships like theirs that have or are being shaped up beautifully in this space.

I have been blessed with a fair share of friends,myself, who go back to knowing me,from as early as my growing up years to as recent as my life in Oman and Qatar.Now,if I begin to list each and everyone of my friend here,the post will never find an ending. Suffice,then,would it be to say that I treasure each and every friend of mine for life.
Instead let me list down 5 of those special friends who have had a positive influence in my life,who’ve been there in my life for more than 15years and who are still a part of my life.These are people who have been as instrumental in making me the person I am,as my parents.

HEMA: Those who know me,personally,would know Hema too.She is my ‘Best friend’,someone who I trust implicitly with my wildest secrets and craziest fears,someone,who,even if I call in the wee-est of hours,will still be all ears for me.
We’ve known each other from our sixth grades.She was my greatest rival in school.But we never let that affect our relationship.In fact whenever one of us fared better than the other there never lingered a strain or
friction between us.We were always happier for each other than we were for ourselves.
Our love for music is what got us clicked in the beginning.She is a much better singer and has a much better taste in music than I do.

She has always been the calmer of the two of us.So much so,that whenever I get excited and all carried away by situations,she is the one who balances me out.There have been times when I’ve had my faith in the whole being,shaken up.And Hema reinstilled that faith in me and helped me become a better person.

Today at this juncture in our life as much as Hema knows that I will be there for her whenever she needs me come what may,I know too that she is going to be there for me as well.

REN: I’ve known Ren too from school.However it was as we neared our completion of school that we really got to know each other closer.Between the two of us she was definitely the more mature and the more balanced. And that’s how it is even now.I remember how I used to seek her advice on sundry matters and how she always used to be forthcoming.She always had a sensible way of approaching things.

And today she juggles her life between looking after her husband,her two beautiful daughters,home & job amazingly well.And I’m much in awe of her.

We’ve had our ups and downs in our relationship but those have enabled us to bond even stronger as friends.
Today,we may not call or speak as frequently as we used to back in our heydays,but both of us know that we will be there for each other whenever we need each other the most.

RADZ:Now what do I say about her?Our friendship goes back to the time when we were a mere 7year olds. She is more like a sister to me.Although we are just two months apart,I have always felt protective towards her. We have had our share of fun together.I still remember the long evening walks we used to have,looking our best,oozing attitude,to ogle at guys or simply be ogled at and then make a major hue and cry about it!
She cracked me up with her terrific sense of humour. And she still does,by the way.

She is someone who makes it a point to read each of my post without fail,but doesnt believe in leaving comments on my page,instead prefers sharing her views either by calling or simply mailing me.I know she will read this post too.Hence I’m taking this chance to let her know that I love her immensely and she will always always be in my prayers.

SONI:We were known as ‘twin sisters’ at one point of time as we were always together.We were neighbors,went to the same school for sometime.We even sported similar hairstyles,wore similar outfits.
And when she was moving from one city to another because of her father’s transferable job,we made sure to keep in touch regularly by exchanging letters.And we would invariably sign off by saying,’with love your twin sister’!

Today,it saddens me to say that I’ve more or less lost contacts with her.It was as though she wanted to shut herself off her old friends.I tried my best to be in touch by calling her every time I was in India.Then I realized she was never the same old chirpy Soni I knew.She,no longer, made an effort to stay connected.Something had drastically changed her.And she chose to ignore the fact that she still had friends who she could trust.All she had to do was open up.

I know its a matter of just one call and old times will be refreshed.Maybe I WILL call or maybe I should just let her be and give her space.Anywhich way she sure knows she will always be a part of my life.She is,afterall my twin sister.How can I detach her from me?

AK: Initially I had thought that this post would just be about my girl-friends. Then I realized AK was my oldest friend and not acknowledging his presence in my life would be gravely unfair of me.
We’ve known each other from the time we were 2years and a few months.Yes we were,as they say,’chaddi-buddies’!We were next door neighbours which meant we were practically happier being in each other’s houses than our own.Our mothers have fed us,even bathed us,put us to sleep,put up with our endless havocs and histrionics around the house.In fact AK even has a snap that his father took wherein we were holed up in a cardboard box and playing peek-a-boo! We were so close knit that I called his mother ‘Amma’ and strangely he calls mine ‘Edthi’ which means big sister in Malayalam!We still address them in the same manner.

Even though I’m a few months older than him,he has always had a big-brotherly approach towards me.He has always made me feel I can count on him,come what may.He has valued our friendship very dearly,probably even more than I have. To this day,he makes it a point to stay in touch.Even when I fail to call him or meet him,he makes sure to come and meet me,no matter which corner of the city he is.And that’s what makes me feel blessed to have him for a friend.

Now its a different story,though.I’ve been given an ultimatum by him.I have to go and bless AK and his beautiful wife,who he married a few days back,else our friendship goes on a red-alert zone!

We’ve all been hurt by our friends,some of us may have even been jilted by them at some point and there have been times when WE have been thoughtless with our actions or words towards our friends.Yet we never stop making new friends or believing in friendship.And that’s what the beauty is. So heres to us.Heres to friendship!

On that note lets enjoy this beautiful song.This is not only for the friends that I’ve met but also those I’ve not but have had the good fortune of knowing through the wonderful medium of blogging.

A food for thought:Why dont you all take this up as a tag and list down 5 of your friends who have made a difference to your life?If you have more than 5 in your list,bring it on!The more the merrier 🙂