Not So Long ago, in an Antland Not So Far Away

Disclaimer:

A) A looooong post!

B) ***Purely my thoughts, my views on the topic(s) covered. Please don’t look for any hidden implication or outrage to feel outraged about**

A carnival was under way in the Antland. There were ants from all corners, some from Ms Deeps’ sink, some from Ms Smita’s shelf, some from Mr Hitchy’s tree, some from Ms Pixie’s land even, all the way from the US of A, gathered to celebrate.

What were they celebrating?

Well, they were generally celebrating life. Their life. Their freedom to live. Howsoever short that might be. It’s not as if they had found some elixir of life on one of their sojourns to Ms D’s house recently. Well they did manage to drag in back a few flakes of the carrot halwa that she had made and some crumbs of the choco-chip cookies from the box that her daughter Ms N had left open for them.

They did have plans to extend their holiday there just so they could thank Ms N when she would come looking for the cookie jar though, you know. But that could wait as they realized it was not so safe to go back to the region where Ms D was now planning a terrorizing attack on them.

Moreover they were sick and tired of being vulnerable to getting stamped and crushed by the human feet! They deserved to enjoy some time off the worry.

So there they were, some singing along to Let it Go in the karaoke station, some playing Ring a Ring o’ Roses in the field nearby, some even sipping a cuppa and having a good chat around the tree-cafe.

That’s when the sneaky Ms.D overheard this conversation

Ant A (raising her elephant-mug): So guys, aren’t we all happy that we are alive today! Cheers to us!

The ants gathered around the cafe, raising their mugs, squeaked out a thankful “Aye Aye” in unison.

Ant B: BTW, did you hear about Ant X? She got to taste some beef when she went clubbing in Mr. Rocky’s bar, the other day. Not to mention the wine that she got to taste too. Some guts I must say.

The ants all exclaim a WOW!

Ant K: Her religion doesn’t allow her to try any of that,right?

Ant B: Yeah! Yet she went ahead and tasted it anyway. Isn’t that great! What was even more amazing? That the priest of the ant-shrine that she visited to confess was so cool about it. Mr Ant-priest didnt care two hoots in fact! As per him, neither did our God.

Ant K: The priest is so right. Why would our God object? And why should we as fellow ants? X did what she desired to do, took that liberty, followed her heart. That’t it. That’s what we all should, right? Use our freedom as long as we don’t harm our fellow beings, violently or otherwise.

Ant A: That’s so true! Life is short, in our case its minuscule, so we need to make the most of it by living freely. How difficult is it to understand that? Oh I am so proud of Ant X. Of our entire clan!

And L: Absolutely! I think the humans can learn a thing or two from us. A similar incident like this happened in their world and it turned so awfully ugly, from what I read in one of the newspaper-tracks I went jogging on. And now there’s a famous actor who’s raking up a lot of flak from his own fellows, for speaking his mind, for expressing his views, personal views mind you and there’s a whole lot of idiots hounding him for that. 

Ant A: These humans I tell you! They talk about being tolerant and all. They can’t even tolerate us being around, or even those cockroaches for that matter. We don’t even harm them, do we? Ok ok, we do creep up on them, and try to nibble at them but we just do it for fun, for ant-sakes! We can be friendly too you see! And how do they react? As if we are Dracula-reincarnated! 🙄

Ant K: I know! The just don’t get us. Oh and have you seen some of those girls screaming their lungs out when they spot a lizard? Gosh height of over-reaction! They say they are scared of the lizard, but do they really know how much more frightening their own shrieks are? The poor lizard ends up getting scared and runs for its life! I have invited some lizards and cockroaches and their families too to join us in the fun. C’mon, they deserve a chance to let their hair and tails down too, you see.

Ant B: Of course they do! I’m glad you invited them, K. These humans, they fail me! Going by the way they go up in arms against their own lot for expressing their views or exercising their basic right to expression, wonder what they would do and where they would hide if and when we were to become intolerant and bloat up to attack them for invading into our right to existence!

Ant J: Hey hey,hold your horses, B. Did you know that Ms Deeps was in serious consultation with Ms Smita on how to drive us away! What nerve I tell ya! I even heard Ms S suggesting some flour as a remedy! And as if it wasn’t enough, Ms D was seen zooming off to the nearest store to get a poisonous ant-killer to spray at us. She couldn’t afford to leave any ant-corner unturned it seems. So while it’s laugh-worthy, their intention to wipe us off the face of this earth, let’s not get carried away. Let’s not behave like them. They know in their heart of hearts that we are just as significant to this world as them. So let us celebrate while we can for the life we have.

On that note they all got up to shake a leg or two on the dance floor near the lake.

As for sneaky Ms D. She was seen walking back  home meekly, feeling a little ashamed of herself for wishing those ants’ end.

She switches on the comp to log in to her space, and right there she spots him jaunting through her keyboard as though he was in Switzerland….

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The Life and Times of a Blogomaniac

EDITED TO ADD : Thank You,Blogadda, for the Tangy Pick !

Caution: This is a work of fiction. Yet, resemblance of characters and certain incidents to anyone real or virtual is purely intentional !

Also its a long story which couldn’t be cut short !

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It is a bright sunny morning.

Time 8AM

Deeps,after sending off husband,R & daughter,Namnam,gets set to indulge in her daily dose of entertainment. Its time to pay visits to her friends in the blogville. She cant wait to know whats happening in their lives !!

She realizes she has to be back soon to get on with her chores at home. She plans to cook shahi paneer and fried rice ,a favorite of both R & Namnam, for lunch ! She is confident she will be back by 930 at the most. C’mon how long should it take to drop in a word!

She starts off with a visit to Nancy,who lives close-by

Knock Knock! Knock Knock!

No response.

Deeps: Helloooo,are you there,Nance?

Deeps knocks again and just as she thinks Nance is away and begins to retract her steps, the door is opened by a half-asleep Nancy

Deeps: Oh,so sorry Nance,didnt know you would be sleeping. Are you ok?

Nancy: Oh yes yes,I’m fine,thank you,Deeps. Its just that I came across an article on sleep deprivation recently and was so shell-shocked to know about the detrimental impacts it could have on one’s life that I didnt want to take any chances. Thought I would catch up on some lost sleep of my own,just to be on the safer side!

Deeps: I understand,Nance. You sleep tight and have sweet dreams. Will come by later 🙂 .

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Deeps,now, hops by Rakesh’s zone

Rakesh: Hi Deeps !

Deeps:Hi there, whats up? You seem to be pissed off with the advertising industry for way too long!

Rakesh: Yes! This uninhibited capitalism is getting to me!

There sure needs to be a change in topic before the air gets more serious.

Deeps: Heard Kurbaan is released.

Rakesh: Yes and am looking forward to watching it.

Deeps: Wonderful! will look forward to your take on it.
C u later,Rakesh 🙂

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As she wonders where to stop by next, Deeps hears some giggling and chirruping amidst a lot of tap,tap from Swaram’s end and decides to drop by.

Swaram: Hey,Deeps,come on in!

Deeps: What’s all the noise,Swar and how come you’re not at work?

Swaram: Oh I had a large carton of ‘bubble wraps lying here,so we thought of taking a day off from work to pop pop pop away to glory! Tee hee!

Deeps: We? Is Su in too?

Right then two hands wrap Deeps from behind.

Crafty: *Super tight hugs*, Deeeeeeeps! So good to see you here 🙂 🙂 🙂

Deeps: Hi Craftysweets,so good to see you too? So who else is here?

Pixie: I’m here too..hee hee

Deeps: So the “Gang of Girls” is here! Fantastic!
Carry on,girls,have fun. See you later 🙂

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Deeps heads to Vimmuuu’s house next.

Vimmuu: $#@%^&*#$#%$…Oh sorry, Deeps,didnt see you coming. Welcome!

Deeps: Whts the matter,Vims? Why r u so hassled?’

Vimmu: I’m raging mad at the Water Board. 😡 😡 😡 .You know,they have stopped water supply of my house. Apparently they think I wash clothes and take bath way too much and that leaves other residents in the locality with hardly enough water for their own use.

Deeps: Oh! Thats a shame! Dont they know those are your favorite indulgences??

Vimmu: I’m seriously going to give them some lessons on cleanliness and hygiene,I tell you!

Deeps: 🙄 🙄 Good luck,Vims.Hope they see sense. Bye!

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And then she heads off to Hitchywriter’s abode.

Hitchy greets her with a very morose ‘Hi’ .

Deeps: Why the sullen look,Hitchy?

Hitchy: Look how poor Sachin is being dragged into the political brouhaha!! Cant the fanatics just leave him alone and let him enjoy his moment of glory? They owe him at least that much.

Deeps: Yes its very disheartening! I’m sure Sachin is sensible enough to not let such ridiculousness get to him though.

Hitchy: Yes of course! But still its depressing. And as you know the more I feel depressed the hungrier I get.

Saying this he gets up to head to the kitchen.

Hitchy: I’m going to have some ‘Akuri’. Care to join?

Deeps: No thank you,Hitchy.I’ll get going too. You enjoy your sulk Akuri 😛 Bye!

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Deeps reaches IHM’s house and rings the doorbell.

IHM: Welcome,Deeps. Please come in.

Deeps: Thank you,IHM. I cant wait to do some serious male-bashing.So,who are we targeting today?

IHM: Not today,Deeps. I’ve received a letter from some harassed husbands who are protesting against their nagging bickering wives and they are looking for as many voices as possible in support of them. I’ve decided to stand by them. Men deserve to be heard too,you know.

Deeps, a bit panicked at this revelation asks,” ah..um..IHM,is there a certain Mr R in the list of petitioners,by any chance??’

IHM checks the list and responds in the negative.

‘Phew’ ! Deeps heaves a sigh of relief.

Deeps: You’re doing the right thing,IHM. I’ll support them too wholeheartedly !!

IHM: Thank you.

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Deeps,next heads to Solilo’s house.

Solilo: Bienvenue!

Deeps: Hainji???

Solilo: Oops!sorry,I forgot you didn’t know French!
Welcome!

Deeps: Thank you.

Solilo: So,did you read my revue des livres of “The Horse Boy”?

Deeps: your what? 😕 😕

Solilo: There I go again! I mean my book review?

Deeps:Yes,Sols,and I loved your take on it. In fact I had shared my thoughts on it too.

Solilo: You had? Then how come I don’t remember it?

Deeps: You would if you stop letting my comments go into your trash can 😦 😦

Solilo: 😛 😛 😛

Just then something catches Deeps’ eyes right across the street.

Deeps: Sols,has Sakshi shifted from her house?

Solilo: I don’t think so. I know she was planning to though. Why what happened?

Deeps: I just saw an unknown figure coming out of the house.

Solilo: Really? Where? Where? Let me see.

Sols joins Deeps to peep through the window.

Solilo: Oh,that’s definitely Sakshi,Deeps? Look at that Olive green nylon hat with rabbit fur she is donning!

Deeps: oh yes,that is her, indeed. But whats with that style statement? 😯 😯

Solilo: Ah! The inimitable Sakshi! Only she can wear an orange lungi and red shirt and carry herself off with such elan!
Come lets ask the Diva herself where she is off to.

Deeps and Sols rush outside.

Deeps:Hi Saksh,where are u off to?

Sakshi zooms off without a word.

🙄 🙄 🙄

Solilo calls out from the back,’Hey partner, where are you going without replying to us?

Sakshi is out of sight by now.

Deeps: Never mind,she must be in a major hurry to ‘come first’ somewhere. Lets not take it away from her.
Ok,Sols I’m off now. Catch up with you later.

Solilo: Bye Deeps 🙂

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Deeps stops over at Smitha’s now.

Smitha: Hi Deeps you couldn’t have come at a more apt time. I’ve made some muffins!

Deeps: Wow,Smits! Cant wait to gobble them. BTW why are you wearing an XXL-sized shirt buttoned up all the way till your neck??

Smitha: Oh I’m on strict orders to wear a bigger shirt lest my midriff shows up!

Deeps: Orders from who?

Smitha: Who else but Poohi !!

Deeps rolls off her chair in a fit of laughter. ’Girls I tell you! Is it any surprising that we see glimpses of our grandmothers in our daughters at times??!!’

Amidst all the muffin-munching and endless chatting,Deeps loses track of time.

And then suddenly……

Deeps: Gosh! Look at the time! Its 12! Have I been away for so long?? And I have about 50 more houses that I had planned to visit today! Guess that will have to wait till tomorrow 😦

Have to rush,Smits. Bye,see you later.

Smitha: Bye! Hop back safely,Deeps.

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Deeps scurries back home to realize that she is already running late to go and fetch Namnam from school. Not only that. She has to put washed clothes out to dry. On top of that,she finds out that the electric oven is on !! She cant even remember when she had used it last!

Anyway, she decides with a heavy heart that Shahi Paneer and Fried Rice will have to be substituted with a simpler and non-exciting Dal and Rice today.

And then she composes herself and sets off to fetch Namnam and bring her life back in order….

Moral of the story : Excessive blog-hopping can take a harmful toll on your day-to-day life.It can even disturb your mental equilibrium.

Credits:

**The title is inspired by the blog title of a very popular blogger Indian Homemaker

**To know the definition of a Blogomaniac please refer to this page in Solilo’s blog

EDITED TO ADD: I’m sorry,people I’ve not been blog-hopping lately and I’m yet to respond to many of your comments in my previous post. Have been caught up with some domestic obligations. Will hop by and visit you all soon. 🙂

Car-mic connection!

They reached their building.He got out of the car.Stood there for a few seconds,admiring the beauty.

He exclaimed,‘Isnt she strikingly beautiful??’

She who was still inside the car with her daughter who refused to come out unless her Mama buckled her shoes,responded,‘huh!what?’

He repeated,‘She’s so smart,so attractive,so stunning!’

By now,she was well out of the car,holding on to her daughter with one hand and her hand-bag and daughter’s water-bottle with the other.

She was visibly shaken by his remark.She gave him a mighty stare.A stare that seemed as though her eye balls would pop out.

She retorted,‘I know its been a while since I’ve been to a salon.I also know parenting,homemaking and blogging have taken most of my time and energy which means I’m not looking my best now.But that doesnt mean you can admire any sundry beautiful girl in front of me.

‘you need not be beautiful from the outside.What is important is to be beautiful from inside….blah blah blah blah blah’

Before she could go on blabbering,he stopped her right there and blurted,‘ YOU M.O.R.O.N**! I WAS TALKING ABOUT OUR CAR!’.

The snubbed look on her face was enough to make him burst out laughing!

She wished she had a magic wand which could make her invisible!Since that was not to be,she simply whisked off inside to serve him his favourite Chicken curry and Rice!

And then they lived happily ever after

MORAL OF THE STORY: Marriage is not just about making each other laugh.Its also about allowing the other to make fun of you and being able to laugh at yourself.

**To avoid their 3year old daughter from picking up scandalous words early on,the husband-wife duo usually resort to spelling the words out phonetically.