Dear Jayanti, as you leave us to usher in a new chapter in your life

I cant help but look back on all the years that you have been with uncle & aunty…with us and wonder at the time flown by.

I have written to you before about how indebted I am to you for being there for us ( and I am hoping you would get your child[ren] read the letter one day and know how much you mean to me and my family), yet after all these years no amount of thank yous seem enough to truly express my heartfelt gratitude.

Although I knew this day was to come at some point in time, I never realized it would hit me so hard so soon…until you called me last night to say good-bye.Β  The minute you said, ‘ Didi mai jaa rahi hoon’ it dawned on me that the moment was here for real. I had so much to tell you but the sheer overwhelming nature of the situation made me struggle for words!

I wanted to tell you how much I was going to miss you. How much I would miss discussing the latest episodes of tele-soaps :D. How much I would miss calling out to you.

I wanted to tell you how bereft the house would seem without you around.

I wanted to tell you that when we come to Delhi, like always the first thing that Namnam’s eyes would look out for as soon as she enters the house would be you.

I wanted to tell you that she had drawn you in her family chart alongside her Ammachu, Ammamma and Thaatha. For her you are family. For us too, Jayanti πŸ™‚

I wanted to tell you how much Namnam would miss running around you and cuddling up,

I wanted to tell you that she would terribly miss making your hair, undoing it and then combing it again and then undoing it and then clipping it again…and I would miss watching you sit through all of that patiently with your ever-effervescent smile πŸ™‚

I wanted to tell you that I would miss watching you drum Achan-your uncle’s head playfully while waiting for him to finish his tea, hearing you recount a fun-ride you and Aunty had in a metro, watching the three of you laugh and crack jokes at each other. Even though watching you with uncle & aunty evoked a tinge of envy in me for the simple reason that the moments made me realize that you were getting to spend far more precious time with them than me. Yet those moments reassured how beautifully the three of you gelled with each other and how wonderfully you had accepted each other. For a daughter who lived so far away from her parents, believe me Jayanti, you were a great source of reassurance that my parents were in secure hands :).

I wanted to tell you to stay being the ever-smiling, loving and caring girl that you are πŸ™‚

I wanted to tell you that if ever you felt challenged in any walk of life, you must be bold and strong to face it. Be known that Uncle Aunty, Raghubhaiyya and I will always be there for you.

I wanted to tell you to always stick to your grounds, to never compromise on your ideals, for I know how strong willed and principled you are.

I wanted to tell you, as you gear up to embark on a new journey, to be accepting towards your new family and command as much acceptance from them. Having said that I hope and pray that you are blessed with a wonderful husband and a wonderful family πŸ™‚

I wanted to tell you to be happy. And I remember now that I did tell you that. I really want you to be. You deserve to be. In every bit of the way, my dear girl. May God bless you with all the happiness in the world.

Love always

Didi

Tag time

Its been a while since I’ve done a tag. I normally reserve it for occasions when I dont have anything interesting to share otherwise. And this is one such occasion :).

Amrita has tagged me to share a few tidbits about my life. So here’s how it goes…

1. Indebted to someone for life:

Jayanti, without a doubt. Many of you know who she is. In fact I’ve even written a letter telling her how indebted I’m to her. She has been with my parents for close to 4 years. She is not just a care-taker or a helper to them, but a daughter in many ways. Someone who is very sensitive to their needs, who knows what their likes and dislikes are, who looks after them like her own parents.

Everytime I leave Delhi with a heavy heart, my only concern is Achan & Amma’s welfare. But its her ever-smiling face that gives me an assurance that I’ve nothing to worry.

No amount of thank you’s will be enough for what she has been to me and my family. I’m eternally grateful to her for being there for us.

And today and everyday I pray to God that she is blessed with all the happiness in the world that she so rightfully deserves.

2. A gesture that left me speechless

This was in August 2007. We lived in Muscat. R was away on a business trip. Namnam was suffering from fever. Although she had a history of febrile convulsion, it had been a while since it had relapsed as we had been able to regulate the temperature whenever she had fever. So it never struck me that she could have her bouts again.

I still don’t know what went wrong that day, but she had her convulsions again. It was late evening. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to drive, who to call for help as some of our friends were either out-of-town or lived away. I was as helpless as could be. I took her in my arms, ran to the next door and rang the bell. I couldn’t even wait for the person to answer the door. I rushed to our landlords’ house who lived in the ground floor.

To tell you a bit about out landlords, they were not a very favorable bunch of people to be around. They were a rude lot who had had at least one altercation with whoever came in contact with them. They were very difficult people to handle. Our friends from Muscat would vouch for that.

But your landlords’ behavioral problem is the last thing to cross your mind when your child is convulsing in your arms.

Anyway, when I went down for help, what I got to see was not the rude, brash side of my landlord, but a noble and kindhearted one. When he saw Namnam’s condition, he immediately called for his driver(who, thankfully stayed in the same house), and asked him to take us to the hospital. He even told him to wait in the hospital so he could bring us back home once she was treated.

That one gesture has stayed with me ever since. Thats when I realized the true worth of having good neighbors. They were truly God-sent for me.

3. Say ‘Sorry’ to someone

To all my friends from whom I’ve drifted apart for whatever reasons- be it my childhood friends, friends I made in school, college and at work, those I made in Muscat and Doha, all of them. I want to say sorry to even those virtual friends who I ‘met’ through the beautiful medium of blogging, but with whom I lost track as I moved on in this journey making newer friends.

I want them all to know that even though time and circumstances may have drifted us apart from each other, yet I treasure each of the friendship close to my heart.

4. Say ‘Thank you’ to someone

To God for giving me the most precious gift. My Namnam. My family and most of my friends know how much I yearned to be a mother. I remember spending many a nights crying my heart out for not being able to conceive. There were days when I’d pray endlessly for that one signal from Him that would quash all sorts of unpleasant doubts creeping into my mind.

And then after much yearnings and prayers Namnam came into our lives as the most precious gift from God.

5. Most cherished possession till date

It’s a wrist-watch gifted by my father when I passed my 10th class board exam which was way back in 1992. And it has been with me ever since.

6. A special moment that brings a smile to my face

Now that’s a tough one! Only recently I was going through some of the old snaps of Namnam and I realized each one of them made me smile. So let me share one of them with you.

This was taken in when Namnam had just turned one. She was at a stage where she had begun to identify her body parts. We had taken a whole sequence of pictures where she identified her ears, teeth, eyes,etc.

The image I’m sharing below is one where she responds to us when we asked where her nose was πŸ™‚

Did that make you smile too?? πŸ™‚

I’m leaving this tag open to anyone who would like to take it up. In case you do pick it up, please share a link too πŸ™‚