Day 13- Not Before You

So, the other day I was getting ready to pick Namnam up from school.  Her school finishes at around 3. Even though I am just 5 minutes away from school, I leave more than half an hour early so I can claim a good parking spot in time and save myself from getting squished by other vehicles scampering for space. Its a mad rush otherwise!

Now on most of the days I wait till she is back from school, to have my lunch with her. But that day I was very hungry so I ate before leaving to pick her. When she was home she didn’t fret about having to eat her lunch alone because she knew I had eaten mine. And she was cool about it. Since I have done it a couple of times before, she was probably convinced that it was not such a big deal that her Amma had eaten lunch without waiting for her 😀

Every time I do this, my thoughts take me to my grandmother who would have been disappointed, if she were alive. She would have scolded me for my nonchalance! She was someone who always waited for her husband, her children and later on her grandchildren- that’s me and my brother- to get home from wherever we would be, till she served us our meals and then sat with us to have hers.  So there was always an underlying message where she subtly insisted on waiting for us whether we wanted to be waited for or no.

A lot of parents behave in this manner, I have observed,without realizing the undue pressure they may be putting on their children. While I know the intention is to convey that they care, but I find the gesture pretty constricting.

I remember a friend mentioning once how terrible she and her husband felt when they came home after a late night dinner only to eat again with their parents because they were waiting for them till late!! And they felt guilty to have made them wait, despite informing that they would be late.

Its like suffocating our kids with our impractical love, isn’t it?. By making them feel guilty with our claustrophobic show of love, we aren’t making them love us more, instead we may be driving them away from us.

I sometimes feel bad when I can’t keep up to the expectations I might have set in Namnam’s mind. Then I realize that by setting an impractical bar of expectation in my kid’s mind, I may be knowingly or unknowingly misleading her. She may get dejected if for some reason I am not in a position to keep up to that expectation.

So it’s best to establish a more practical understanding of each other where there’s no room for disappointment or undue pressure on either.

Post Vishu Post

Not a very interesting title I know! But if I sit here and keep glaring at the screen for some more time pondering over a more suitable title, then I might just lose whatever little drive I have gathered to write a post and shut the window down yet again! This is probably the 10th…or is it 2oth…or 50th..attempt  I am making to revive my blog in the last two months. Argh! I have no clue what I am going to type. I’ll simply let my fingers tap the keyboard in whatever direction my mind wants them to…

Vishu, since it fell on a working day, was spent like any other day. R went to office, Namnam to school. However Namnam got her vishu-kaineettam before heading off to school. Even though I made semiya-payasam(kheer), a more lavish-sadya/feast has been put off for the coming weekend with friends.

So what have I been upto in the last two months? Nothing much.

To take off from my last post, the bother’s wedding went off well, we all had a wonderful time welcoming the new member into our family 🙂

TGND, the above pic is of my brother and his wife holding hands. The image I shared in the previous post was a random one uploaded from Google images :). I’m sorry I couldn’t reply to you then 🙂

We got back and it was time for Namnam to begin her new academic year as a second grader. With it began the realization that my daughter was growing bigger, and with that began growing concerns of a learning parent. Concerns about keeping  the child from getting negatively influenced by her closest friends without distancing her from them, about lying and being honest with herself and people around her, about learning to be bolder, more assertive…concerns that warrant a separate post altogether, or ‘posts’ to put it plurally. Sigh!

The one good thing to have come out of my self-imposed hibernation though, is the amount of reading I have been able to do. In the last two months I have finished reading  6 books!

Hey all you voracious readers, I can hear your muffled laughter at seeing that puny number-count,  ok! But trust me, for a slow and a lazy reader like me this is a huge number :D!

And it is purely because all of the books that I have read so far have been thoroughly engaging and riveting.

Thats that then, of this  mish-mash of a post. The weekend is almost here. I’m yet to buy veggies needed for tomorrow’s vishu potluck. So off I go now!

Hopefully with a new week I’ll have something newer and more interesting to share…

Till then bye-bye!