New city, new blog- A new abode, virtual and real :)

Welcome here!

Hello from the United Arab Emirates!

Yes, Deeps family has shifted base. And UAE is going to be our new abode. Dubai to be precise. A city which may not be entirely unknown, which we have visited plenty of times. As visitors. And yet here we are, learning to find our footing as its residents with a lot of excitement and some jitters of the unknown.

Why, a new blog, you may wonder. Well, just for fun! 🙂 I thought that branching out to a new blog may relate well with the sentiments behind moving base to a new country. So it would be fun to chronicle the experiences, the anxieties, the moments that I may go through as a new resident who’s trying to fit in and make a space for my family and self.

The excitement that goes with shifting bases wouldn’t be entirely different from the thrill that a new blog would bring, would it?

From new friends that are waiting to be made to new blogs waiting to be found to new roads and routes waiting to be explored to new posts that are waiting to be read to new rules and regulations as an expat that are waiting to be adhered to, to new challenges that are waiting to taken up, the journey of learning to get around a new city is oh-so-similar to learning to get around the blogworld with your new blog, isn’t it?

My primary blog took shape while I was moving from Oman to Qatar and it grew on to become a virtual extension of me for the next 6 years. Now I’m hoping that this blog too would help me grow, find myself, perceive the things happening in and around me and accept my new domain with open arms, in the same way.

I have not clipped my other blog, the primary wing to my thoughts. I can never do that. I am just adding a new wing so my flight can be even more liberating, gratifying and fulfilling.

So here’s hoping that I am able to embrace my new space just as the space accepts me and my family into its welcoming fold 🙂

Here’s to new beginnings, new hopes, a newer chapter..

 

I did NOT do a favour by giving birth to my child!

I came across this photo on facebook a couple of days back which was re-shared by one of my friends from the page of a legendary actor. The photo has got me seething ever since. And it got some 5 lakh plus likes, to add to my chagrin!

Now the part which says that she changes her name, changes her home, leaves her family could be true to some extent. There are families, even today, that endorse the regressive thought-process of girls being ‘paraya-dhan’, where girls are raised to think of the family they grow up in as merely a temporary set up before they leave for their ‘own’ family-by-law.

Having said that I would like to believe that mindsets are changing. More and more women are able to stand their own ground and decide whether to keep their surnames or adopt their husbands’ after marriage, based on their own choice and desire rather than what the society ‘demands’ of them. And its equally welcoming to see men evolve too and accept that their women have every right to choose and decide what they want for themselves.

As for changing home, leaving family, to speak for myself, I have never felt or been made to feel that I have had to ‘leave’ my family after marriage. Yes I did shift from one house to another, but I have been every bit a part of my parents’ house as I have been of my parents-in-law. Also the part which says that a woman moves in with her husband and builds a home with him after marriage, I believe the husband also comes forward and contributes equally to building that home with her.

But the one line that blows it for me is:

Gets pregnant for you, bears a child for you.

I have not found a more ridiculous thing to say than this. Again, I talk for myself and my husband when I clarify that I did NOT get pregnant for him or bear my child for him. It was a well thought out decision to bring our child into this world and we made that decision together, for our own sake and happiness.

When we got married we had decided that having kids would not be our primary focus for another 3-4 years. We needed time to get to know each other, secure our lives a bit better, stabilize our relationship before we could bring a child into our lives.

And when we did decide to take that important step onto the next phase, it’s not as if my husband came up to me, one fine day and blurted, ‘Hey listen will you do me a favour? Can you get pregnant for me and bear a child for me?’! Nor is it as if I went up to him either, asking, ‘Hey listen, will you do me a favour? Can you ‘make’ me pregnant so I can bear a child?’ 🙄

NO! It did not work like that in our case! And I’m sure it does not work like that in any couple’s case! Favour would be the last word befitting here. I was craving for a child just as much. I wanted to be a parent just as much. I wanted to get pregnant and bear our child! The decision was and is never about ‘your child’ or ‘my child’. It was ‘our’ child that we were talking about bringing into this world.

Yes I did go through some bodily changes when I was pregnant, I did get fat, I did go through fair amount of labour pains. But I did not, for a second, begrudge any of that on my husband, neither did I ever think that I was doing him a favour. I know for a fact that if the situation had reversed, my husband would have taken on all that just as well if he were carrying our baby.

I think ‘favour’ is a wrong word to be used to describe anything relating to a relationship as mutually equating as marriage. The onus of every little decision made, every little step taken, every little space give to nurture a marriage rests equally on both the man and the woman.The minute a couple in any marriage starts to think that he/she is doing a favour to the other, it loses its meaning. So merely terming it as thus would be belittling the very relationship I feel.

Happy Diwali to everyone..

in advance 🙂

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We celebrated the festival last night.

And run-up to this day was preceded by days of rigorous pre-Diwali cleaning. Yes, I was bitten by the safai virus too! How could I escape it when so many of you were putting up posts and tweets on how you all were so engaged in getting your homes clean and set for the festival of lights. Watching and reading you all drove me to turn my heavily cluttered house to a neater and decluttered home just in time :).

The kitchen cabinets were reorganized. Floors were bleach cleaned. Even those far ends that hadn’t had any contact with cleanliness for weeks were reunited with the vaccum cleaner. Thanks to which, the sharpener that was last seen some 7 months back was found lying in a chunk of dust under the child’s bunk bed! Piles and piles of unwanted papers and stationaries cluttering inside the study table were shown the door. Wardrobes and bookshelves were reset. Windows were brushed off the dust. The front and back yards were broomed and washed. Of course I had some able help from my domestic help, who diligently took my suggestions and instructions to clean every nook and corner of the house . God bless him!

I can’t begin to tell how satisfying and calming it felt to see all those shelves and cabinets and drawers that looked as though hurricane-hit, transformed into neatly stacked counters. Even though, as Rachna rightly pointed out, others may hardly notice the hard work put in.

Having said that, isn’t it a bit of an irony that Diwali, which brings in so much of cleansing and decluttering to our homes and lives would eventually entail a sense of mess and unkemptness the very next day with all the crackers and poppers and snappers strewn all over the street?

Thats not to say that I don’t appreciate the positivity, brightness and cheer that the festival brings with it. It is after all, my favourite festival!

Here’s wishing you all a wonderful Diwali this year! May the festival of lights brighten up your lives with happiness joy and fervour to last forever 🙂

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Back with a clichéd shot!

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This is not just what I have come back with. I have loads of pictures and memories of a wonderfully spent holiday in France and Switzerland, which I am eager to share here!

But as it turns out, Namnam and I are off on a month long vacation to Delhi in a week’s time. Which means this week is mostly going to be about unpacking, shoving the clothes into the washing machine, drying them, ironing them, sorting and packing them again into the luggage!

So I am forced to keep the detailed sharing of our expedition pending for the moment. Hopefully not for long.

For now though, I’ll leave you with the above image of the one place that I had always dreamed of visiting…*mush-alert* even held a secret desire of walking in to this impressive structure, often interpreted as an epitome of love…arm in arm with the love of my life!

And look at my good fortune, I had not one, but two loves of my life holding my hands walking in and riding up the tower with me! My husband and my daughter. Do I need anything more to feel gratified..